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Posts Tagged ‘Roman Abramovich’

Fernando Torres ‘being broken up for parts’

Chelsea’s misfiring striker is being broken up and sold for parts, according to Brian Barnes, the club’s accountant.

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Posted: Jan 22nd, 2013
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New stadium statues to encapsulate miserable reality of the ‘beautiful game’

Newcastle United’s piece depicts a footballer pushing a wheelbarrow full of gold coins past a crowd of cash-strapped Geordies queuing to renew their season tickets.

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Posted: Nov 27th, 2012
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Abramovich names Abramovich as new Chelsea manager

Da!Roman Abramovich has been confirmed as the new manager of Chelsea by Roman Abramovich following the departure of hapless stooge Roberto di Matteo, who inexcusably lost a couple of games whilst managing the team for a pittance.

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2012
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Abramovich sacks Abramovich

‘It has become something of a tradition that someone gets sacked when our Champions’ League campaign comes to an end. Only I’d already fired the manager.’

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Posted: May 22nd, 2012
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Chelsea sack Benitez prior to appointment

‘We took this action to save everyone time and money,’ explained a spokesman for Chelsea Football Club.

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Posted: Mar 6th, 2012
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