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Posts Tagged ‘royal family’

Queen finally honours Stephen Hawking by granting him English accent

His synthesiser was formally re-programmed so that Hawking sounded like he was from his native England and not a cheap 1950s American sci-fi movie.

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Posted: Jan 12th, 2015
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Royal Family finally granted Jennie Bond restraining order

'The name's Bond. Can I have a look in your bin...?'‘We’ve had several run-ins with Jennie over the years for approaching members of the family with a Fisher Price microphone that wasn’t actually connected to anything’.

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Posted: Nov 3rd, 2014
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Prince Philip admits he may not live to offend everyone

still honing 'classic one-liner' on geriatric Royals‘You’ve got the hearing-impaired, the partially sighted, same-sex this, transgender that… It’s impossible to keep up, but one does one’s best.’

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Posted: Sep 12th, 2014
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Prince George rules Lego world with an iron fist

The Queen and senior members of the Royal Family have spoken of their ‘delight’ today after an official video showed one-year-old Prince George ruling his Lego kingdom with an authoritarian zeal unseen since the early Stuart period.

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2014
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Prince Charles busted in ‘Operation Poppyseed’ dawn raid

Minutes later several horses were taken into care from Princess Anne’s mansion at Gatcombe Park after testing positive for heroin.

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2014
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