Everybody must stay 2 metres away from themselves from Monday. Herds will be immune.
If Monday falls on a Tuesday the rules are reversed. Please report any violations of spacetime to the appropriate authorities (apart from the one near Cardiff – BT engineers are working on it). [read...]
An illegal gathering recklessly flouting lockdown rules has become perfectly fine after the clock struck midnight and the date changed from May to June. Paul James, from Northampton, had five friends round for a barbecue in his garden on Sunday May 31st, [read...]
‘The introduction of clear rules in boxing allowed men to punch seven shades of shit out of each other in the controlled environment of a boxing ring. We see no reason why this wouldn’t also work with war.’ [read...]
The Government has given schools greater powers to sack ‘maverick’ governors, who ‘break the rules’, ‘do things their way’ and almost never complete their expenses on time. ‘Okay, they get results, but we can’t have governors running around out of control’, [read...]
