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Posts Tagged ‘Russell Brand’

‘Nice criminals’ will be forced to wear Hallowe’en masks

the world's just not terrifying enough yetFollowing the conviction of Rolf Harris for a string of sexual assaults, the Secretary of State for Justice, Chris Grayling, is set to announce sweeping reforms to festive Hallowe’en costumes to aid the public in their identification and eventual demonisation of suspected criminals. The Metropolitan Police admitted, that having exhausted its supply of freaky-looking paedophiles to prosecute, Operation Yewtree will now have to include celebrities people actually like.

Previously the government had implemented a system whereby serial killers agreed to grow beards, molesters were given bad haircuts and tax avoiders were required to dress like George Osborne. Unfortunately, the agreed classification has become undermined by the rise of ‘paedo chic’, which has seen the likes of Russell Brand making ironic use of Ted Bundy’s mojo and Lady Gaga looking like a transgender Jimmy Savile.

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2014
More from UK News



Thousands march on Parliament to demand more baby George pictures

The streets on central London today saw one of its largest ever protest marches as activists, unions and ordinary working people demanded more images of the Queen’s great grandson and third in line to the throne crawling, walking and playing with blocks.

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Posted: Jun 24th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Russell Brand ‘broke Paxman’s heart’

'Come on, it's a simple question. Yes or no?'The veteran presenter and professional cynic has quit BBC Two’s Newsnight amid rumours that he had been ‘pining like a dog on heat’ for the acerbic lothario, Russell Brand. Jeremy Paxman (63) has confessed privately to colleagues that since his fateful meeting with the comedian on 23 October 2013, he has been unable to ‘sleep’, ‘wash’ or ‘sneer effectively at Nick Clegg’.

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Posted: May 1st, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment, Celebrity



London’s Tube Crisis – Russell Brand yet to comment

Confusion among Londoners over how they feel about the tube strike continues to grow as Russell Brand still hasn’t released any form of open letter about it.

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Posted: Feb 5th, 2014
More from News In Brief



BBC’s Desert Island Discs in illegal colonisation row

World ServiceRadio 4 bosses have been summoned to the Foreign Office to answer questions following accusations of ‘rampant’ and ‘illegal’ colonisation of desert islands. Pacific island leaders have delivered a joint complaint to Foreign Secretary, William Hague in an attempt to halt the migration of potty professors, faded celebrities and unknown academics to hundreds of uninhabited islands in Micronesia and other areas of the Pacific.

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Posted: Jan 29th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment