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Posts Tagged ‘russia’

Cameron urged not to push red button ‘before bake off final’

Presidents Obama and Putin have both phoned David Cameron pleading with him to show restraint during a period of worsening international relations and ‘bugger-all’ to watch on TV. However a spokesman for the Prime Minister was in bullish mood, threatening: ‘To wipe Paul Hollywoods’ smug smile off the face of the planet, with two tonnes of weapon grade plutonium and re-runs of Dad’s Army.’

Not wishing to be seen as a weak with regards threats to national security and BBC programming, Mr. Cameron is fully prepared to use Trident at the merest hint of a Mel & Sue double entendre.

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Posted: Oct 5th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment

Outrage as unholy strain of myxomatosis introduced into Meerkovo

other ways of getting rid of them on '' We are all dying, simples

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2015
More from From The Archives

EU diplomatic ‘shit list’ drawn up by the Tourism Board, say Kremlin

Grab a bargain now before prices fall!A Russian foreign ministry official has today contradicted reports that a list of ‘banned’ politicians was a result of EU sanctions against Russia. ‘Not at all. It is a simple attempt to support our gentrification process by excluding undesirables who are likely to detract from Russia’s reputation as a lovely place to visit and live.’

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Posted: May 31st, 2015
More from Politics

UN finally intervenes in Syria, awards prize to ‘one millionth refugee’

never in his wildest dream did he think he would win, or survive Unable to drive prize due to lack of arms

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2015
More from From The Archives

Boris Nemtsov committed suicide, no really

‘All the evidence, including eyewitness reports from persons, some of whom were at the incident, is that Mr Nemtsov repeatedly threw himself in front of bullets. As far as we can tell, there was nothing anyone could do.’

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Posted: Mar 2nd, 2015
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