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Posts Tagged ‘russia’

Lifetime Presidency ‘too short’ claims Putin

After two stints as President, two as Prime Minister and now another as President, Vladimir Putin is still unable to justify stepping down in the foreseeable future when there’s ‘so much more to do’, according to reports from the Kremlin.

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Posted: Nov 24th, 2014
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Outrage as unholy strain of myxomatosis introduced into Meerkovo

other ways of getting rid of them on 'comparethecull.com'Animal rights activists have reacted in horror after the exponential rise in meerkat numbers throughout Europe forced Russian authorities to introduce a genetically modified strain of the myxomatosis virus into the village of Meerkovo.

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2014
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MOD planning ‘massive exercise’ north of Hadrian’s Wall

Och aye, the newsMembers of the Royal Irish Regiment are said to be catching the evening Stranraer ferry, thus enacting an elegant ‘pincer movement’.

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Posted: Sep 18th, 2014
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Ill-informed Cumbrians readying for Scottish invasion

fears that reserves of Kendal Mint cake could fall into enemy handsAn eery silence has descended on Cumbria. The people are edgy, suspicious. Violence erupts in odd little bursts – a chip-shop owner advertising ‘deep fried anything’ is publicly flogged as a sympathiser; a man is stoned for telling a Billy Connolly joke.

Thousands are fleeing to the safety of Carlisle’s walls. Others are on the hilltops, eyes scouring the horizon, preparing to light the beacons at the first sign of ‘Men in Skirts’.

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Posted: Sep 15th, 2014
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Tighter borders mean Thunderbirds ‘aren’t go’

‘Years ago we’d just fly into the danger zone, rescue a few people, put out the fire, then fly back to Tracy Island,’ said Jeff Tracy. ‘Now, we have to fill in reams of paperwork before unloading the pod of Thunderbird 2. And I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been asked if there is a lifeboat on Thunderbird 4.’

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2014
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