NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘russia’

Tighter borders mean Thunderbirds ‘aren’t go’

‘Years ago we’d just fly into the danger zone, rescue a few people, put out the fire, then fly back to Tracy Island,’ said Jeff Tracy. ‘Now, we have to fill in reams of paperwork before unloading the pod of Thunderbird 2. And I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been asked if there is a lifeboat on Thunderbird 4.’

Read more >

Posted: Aug 13th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Hague admits quitting as Foreign Secretary ‘to avoid World War 3′

As passenger airlines are shot down, the Middle-East descends into even greater chaos and American Idol enters its 13th season – all the portents are shaping up nicely for a global Armageddon.

Against the backdrop of a geo-political tsunami, William Jefferson Hague has announced his decision to resign as the UK’s Foreign Secretary, retire as an MP next election and focus on building a ‘start-of-the-art Anderson shelter’ in his back garden.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 20th, 2014
More from Politics



Russia annexes Belgium, claims Group H victory

Reuters has reported today that Belgium has voted in a snap referendum to leave the EU and join the Russian Federation. Amphibious vessels from two Mistral-class ships, similar to those built by France for the Russian navy, landed in Zeebrugge and Ostend just before the kick-off of Belgium’s second World Cup match.

Read more >

Posted: Jun 23rd, 2014
More from News In Brief



Pro-Russian Ukranians hold ‘unofficial’ Eurovision vote

the people have spokenRussian twins The Tolmachevy Sisters have won a landslide victory in the Eurovision Song Contest according to an unofficial poll which took place in areas held by Pro-Russian demonstrators in Eastern Ukraine.

Voting slips featured a photo of The Tolmachevy Sisters accompanied by the Russian flag, while ‘everyone else’ was represented by a photo of dead WW2 Russians accompanied by a Swastika. After votes were counted, the Russian singing duo were duly declared winners with an impressive 108% of the popular vote.

Read more >

Posted: May 13th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment, World News



Putin set to annex Eurovision Song Contest

Vladimir Putin has confirmed that Russia is preparing to ‘annex the Eurovision Song Contest’ if the country fails to win this evening. Russian choirs are reported to be massing around Copenhagen, with reported manoeuvres to out-sing Ukraine contestants and ‘their Western counter tenor backers’.

Read more >

Posted: May 10th, 2014
More from News In Brief