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Posts Tagged ‘russia’

Pro-Russian Ukranians hold ‘unofficial’ Eurovision vote

the people have spokenRussian twins The Tolmachevy Sisters have won a landslide victory in the Eurovision Song Contest according to an unofficial poll which took place in areas held by Pro-Russian demonstrators in Eastern Ukraine.

Voting slips featured a photo of The Tolmachevy Sisters accompanied by the Russian flag, while ‘everyone else’ was represented by a photo of dead WW2 Russians accompanied by a Swastika. After votes were counted, the Russian singing duo were duly declared winners with an impressive 108% of the popular vote.

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Posted: May 13th, 2014
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Putin set to annex Eurovision Song Contest

Vladimir Putin has confirmed that Russia is preparing to ‘annex the Eurovision Song Contest’ if the country fails to win this evening. Russian choirs are reported to be massing around Copenhagen, with reported manoeuvres to out-sing Ukraine contestants and ‘their Western counter tenor backers’.

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Posted: May 10th, 2014
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US threatens Russia with more sanctions, starting with the export of Disney films

Barrack Obama has stepped up the rhetoric in the dispute with Vladimir Putin over Russia’s actions in Ukraine, confirming that any further threats to Ukrainian sovereignty would lead to drastic action, starting with a full and non-negotiable export ban on Disney films.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2014
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‘There are no Russian speakers here’ insists Alaska

The US state of Alaska, which was formerly owned by Russia, has confirmed that there are no remaining Russian speakers within the territory and if there do turn out to be a handful of them they ‘certainly don’t need protecting by Mr Putin, thank you very much’.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2014
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Huge statue of Putin erected in Simferopol

Within minutes of Crimea formally becoming part of the Russian Federation, a gigantic bronze statue of Russian President Vladimir Putin has appeared in parliament square in the Crimean administrative capital.

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2014
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