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Posts Tagged ‘russia’

‘There are no Russian speakers here’ insists Alaska

The US state of Alaska, which was formerly owned by Russia, has confirmed that there are no remaining Russian speakers within the territory and if there do turn out to be a handful of them they ‘certainly don’t need protecting by Mr Putin, thank you very much’.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2014
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Huge statue of Putin erected in Simferopol

Within minutes of Crimea formally becoming part of the Russian Federation, a gigantic bronze statue of Russian President Vladimir Putin has appeared in parliament square in the Crimean administrative capital.

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2014
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Soviet Union to reform for ‘one night only’

The countries were persuaded to bury their differences and get back together to cash in on the current trend for 1970s nostalgia.

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Posted: Mar 16th, 2014
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Crimeans demand right to be mercilessly crushed

‘We’re overwhelmed,’ said a KGB agent in Sevastopol. ‘Once word gets round, you’re inundated with people requesting you to detain them without charge or falsify evidence against them.’

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Posted: Mar 12th, 2014
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UK & US rule out military intervention: Russia actually has WMDs

David Cameron and Barack Obama have today ruled out the possibility of taking any military action in Ukraine, on the grounds that Russia definitely does have Weapons of Mass Destruction. ‘We don’t need to send in Hans Blix to justify anything this time’, explained the Prime Minister.

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Posted: Mar 6th, 2014
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