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Posts Tagged ‘russia’

Russian Bombers to offer cut price flights to and from the UK

guaranteed to stay up better than the roubleIn a move, aggressively resisted by the RAF, the Russian Federation Air Force (Voyenno-Vozdushnye, Silly Rossii or ‘VVS’ for short) has attempted to muscle in on the lucrative budget air routes normally dominated by firms like ‘Easyjet’ and ‘Discount Flying Death Tubes’.

Using their superior reputation for customer welfare, the VVS will offer a range of services including military issue ‘nibbles’, stewardesses in camo paint and the chance to see a Tupolev Tu-95 strategic bomber ‘close up’.

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Posted: Feb 21st, 2015
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Russia to have Ukraine at bank holidays and weekends

The EU is to have custody over Ukraine, following a settlement at the Munich Security Conference. Russia will have her at bank holidays and weekends, and can pick her up after school if Europe is working late.

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Posted: Feb 13th, 2015
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All your devices have been hacked by Russian bandits

Everything you own has been hacked and all of your personal details stolen and sold to criminals, it has emerged.

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Posted: Nov 27th, 2014
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Lifetime Presidency ‘too short’ claims Putin

After two stints as President, two as Prime Minister and now another as President, Vladimir Putin is still unable to justify stepping down in the foreseeable future when there’s ‘so much more to do’, according to reports from the Kremlin.

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Posted: Nov 24th, 2014
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MOD planning ‘massive exercise’ north of Hadrian’s Wall

Och aye, the newsMembers of the Royal Irish Regiment are said to be catching the evening Stranraer ferry, thus enacting an elegant ‘pincer movement’.

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Posted: Sep 18th, 2014
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