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Posts Tagged ‘russia’

Winter Olympics ‘Legacy Camps’ await medal-less Russian athletes

Undecorated Russian competitors are to get a second chance at snow-based activities in ‘Olympic Legacy Camps’. In compounds across Siberia, Olympians will be encouraged to take part in new winter sports such as the wheelbarrow, the rock smash, the axe swing, trudging, the mine dash and the 6ft trench, all under the watchful eye of [...]

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2014
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Putin approves gay-snow-balling and pillow-fighting-on-ice at Sochi

heartfelt appeal to all Olympic Village peopleIn what is seen as a callous attempt to gain world approval for the Winter Olympic Games in Sochi following criticism of its anti-gay legislation, Russia has put forward gay-snow-balling and pillow-fighting-on-ice as new Winter Olympic disciplines.

The Russian leader, Vladimir Putin personally approved the new disciplines at the International Defence Exhibition in Yalta. Sitting bare chested and astride the nozzle of an OT-3 flame throwing tank he said, ‘Russia is not a homo-phobic country. Just look at the Gulags where many gay people enjoy snow-balling and frolicking around in temperatures of -40C. Gay snow balling will be a big attraction in Sochi too, however the use of ear muffs and mittens is out of the question.’

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Posted: Jan 10th, 2014
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Russia accuses US of ‘climate theft’

In an increasingly bizarre and uncomfortable press conference today, Vladimir Putin has levelled charges of climate theft at the United States.

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Posted: Jan 10th, 2014
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‘Fruity wizards’ told to avoid Russia

The UK Foreign Office has advised all members of the Fellowship of the Ring not to travel to Russia, where new laws based on the belief that sexual orientation is determined by early exposure to fantasy novels, it is feared, may soon extend to ‘fruity wizards’, ‘effete elves’ and ‘dwarves in sailor suits’.

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Posted: Dec 13th, 2013
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Britain an also-ran in World Bigotry Games

Despite some early promise from UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom on Bongo Bongo land, Britain was comprehensively defeated by host nation Russia’s new swathe of anti-gay laws.

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Posted: Aug 22nd, 2013
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