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Posts Tagged ‘russia’

Soviet Union to reform for ‘one night only’

The countries were persuaded to bury their differences and get back together to cash in on the current trend for 1970s nostalgia.

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Posted: Mar 16th, 2014
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Crimeans demand right to be mercilessly crushed

‘We’re overwhelmed,’ said a KGB agent in Sevastopol. ‘Once word gets round, you’re inundated with people requesting you to detain them without charge or falsify evidence against them.’

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Posted: Mar 12th, 2014
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UK & US rule out military intervention: Russia actually has WMDs

David Cameron and Barack Obama have today ruled out the possibility of taking any military action in Ukraine, on the grounds that Russia definitely does have Weapons of Mass Destruction. ‘We don’t need to send in Hans Blix to justify anything this time’, explained the Prime Minister.

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Posted: Mar 6th, 2014
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Coalition Olympic legacy ‘not as memorable as Putin’s’

David Cameron is today under pressure to explain why, two years on, the Coalition government has yet to take full advantage of the UK’s Olympic legacy.

Unfavourable comparisons have been drawn after Russia rode the wave of post-Sochi euphoria across the Ukrainian border, deep into the heart of Crimea.

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Posted: Mar 2nd, 2014
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Russian invasion would infringe US/UK copyright

Prime Minister David Cameron has sent a stark warning to the Russian ambassador to London, saying that any military intervention in the Ukraine would be in serious breach of international law, could escalate tensions and would blatantly ‘pinch our idea!’. This sentiment was echoed by the Whitehouse, who claimed that ‘sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong’ is as American as ‘apple pie’, ‘type one diabetes’ and ‘high school massacres’.

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Posted: Mar 1st, 2014
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