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Posts Tagged ‘Ryanair’

Libyan cruise company offers ‘no-frills’ cruise to Italy

desperate to get to a better form of corruptionWith the strapline ‘See Naples and die…before you get there’, one Tripoli-based cruise company is reporting a bumper season by tempting hundreds of African tourists to take up the offer of no-frills trips part of the way to the Sicilian coast.

With five questionably seaworthy vessels and a fully refurbished, century-old dhow in its fleet, ‘Ahmed is Your Med Tours’ offers exclusive one-way trips to Sicily and whatever Mediterranean port it can find without the unnecessary expense of fuel or a rudder.

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Posted: Apr 22nd, 2015
More from World News



Russian Bombers to offer cut price flights to and from the UK

guaranteed to stay up better than the roubleIn a move, aggressively resisted by the RAF, the Russian Federation Air Force (Voyenno-Vozdushnye, Silly Rossii or ‘VVS’ for short) has attempted to muscle in on the lucrative budget air routes normally dominated by firms like ‘Easyjet’ and ‘Discount Flying Death Tubes’.

Using their superior reputation for customer welfare, the VVS will offer a range of services including military issue ‘nibbles’, stewardesses in camo paint and the chance to see a Tupolev Tu-95 strategic bomber ‘close up’.

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Posted: Feb 21st, 2015
More from Business, World News



Ryan Air Force contract ‘a qualified success’

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has hailed the outsourcing of Britain’s air defence to Ryanair as generally successful, because the government no longer has to provide uniforms. Some had criticised the Ryan Air Force’s use of Airbus aircraft for interceptor roles as they can carry more crew, at the usual mark-up.

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2014
More from News In Brief



Ryanair offers budget air strikes

Ryanair today announced today that it would offer economy air strikes on extremist positions, if they happened to be along existing flight paths. ‘We get people to where they need to go,’ said CEO Michael O’Leary, ‘and if those people happen to be air-to-surface missiles that need to go up some nutcase’s arse, then we can accommodate them at the lowest price.’

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2014
More from News In Brief



British volunteers to be weekend warriors in Iraq

Taking its cure from the British Ministry of Defence, ISIS is to form its own Territorial Army. Volunteers will fly out to Syria or Iraq on the Friday evening and return on Monday morning. To avoid Ryanair’s hefty prices for extra baggage, especially assault rifles, grenades and rocket launchers, these will be picked upon arrival in Iraq.

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Posted: Jun 30th, 2014
More from News In Brief