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Posts Tagged ‘Ryanair’

Edward Snowden trapped at Moscow airport in dispute over Ryanair surcharge

‘I had a travel plan all set up,’ explained Snowden, ‘but when Ryanair heard that I was wanted by the US government they slapped a £2m enemy-of-the-state surcharge on me.’

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Posted: Jun 27th, 2013
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Ryanair slammed for outsourcing complaints department to Dublin tramp

‘At first we thought that the man on the other end of the phone was Michael O’Leary and we’d just woke him up, but further investigation revealed that it was actually a tramp in the Temple Bar area of Dublin, called Mick.’

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Posted: Nov 28th, 2012
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Ryanair to launch ‘Dam Buster’ flights

Explaining to reporters the airline’s ‘groundbreaking dam buster concept’, Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary said:

‘We shall be employing in our aircraft the advanced technology used by the dam busters. We are ceasing to operate aircraft with fancy autopilots and the like.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2012
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Man With No Name brings airport to a standstill

A mysterious, soft-spoken cowboy caused chaos at a Stansted airport check-in desk yesterday, thanks to a completely blank passport.

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Posted: Feb 7th, 2011
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Ryanair to charge customers for not beating them with a stick

RyanAir has announced a new service charge for customers that will give passengers the option of paying “a small administration fee” to not be repeatedly struck on the head by truncheon-wielding cabin crew for the duration of their flight.

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Posted: Jun 13th, 2010
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