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Posts Tagged ‘Sainsbury’s’

Lidl is ‘gateway store’ for middle classes

An independent enquiry has revealed that grocery retailer Lidl has become a gateway store, leading the middle classes to try harder discounters like Netto and Poundland. Well-heeled shoppers are enticed in with cut-price flowers and the smell of fresh ciabatta, only to become addicted.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2015
More from News In Brief



Waitrose to go door-to-door making people cry in ‘targeted’ Christmas campaign

This child is later shown being sent back down t'pitWaitrose have announced that they are eschewing the traditional TV Christmas ad campaign; instead, they have unveiled ‘(an) individually-tailored campaign of lachrymosity.’

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Posted: Nov 16th, 2014
More from Business



FIFA to investigate match fixing during 1914 Christmas Day international

twenty two men and an air-filled BlatterFIFA President Sepp Blatter has announced that the organisation is to launch a ‘root and branch’ investigation into claims that British servicemen were involved in ‘match-fixing’ against Germany, during a hastily arranged international on Christmas Day in 1914.

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Posted: Nov 15th, 2014
More from Sport



Maths boffins solve supermarket BOGOF quandary

buy one get another one somewhere else 'not a great deal' say Trading StandardsMathematicians at the University of Leicester have proved conclusively that whenever supermarkets use a ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ offer they should place an even number of items on the relevant shelf.

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2014
More from Business



Tesco self-scan machine develops consciousness

customers struggled to answer its questionsThere was excitement at a Haslemere branch of Tesco Local yesterday when one of its self-scan machines exhibited signs of heightened awareness and began communicating with shoppers.

‘For a few days the machine had been repeating the phrase, Unexpected Item In Bagging Area’’, said Assistant Manager Mrs Maureen Grebe. ‘Then yesterday it began asking deeper questions such as, ‘Am I an unexpected item? Are you? Are we all unexpected items in the bagging area of life?’ Now it won’t shut up.’

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2013
More from Science/Technology