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Posts Tagged ‘sanctions’

Incredulity as Chelsea’s assets ‘still not frozen’

News that the list of 21 prominent Russians and Ukrainians to have their Western assets frozen in response to Russia’s blatant seizure of Crimea does not include Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich have been greeted with incredulity by some of the 60 million or so Britons who really hate Chelsea.

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Posted: Mar 21st, 2014
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Huge statue of Putin erected in Simferopol

Within minutes of Crimea formally becoming part of the Russian Federation, a gigantic bronze statue of Russian President Vladimir Putin has appeared in parliament square in the Crimean administrative capital.

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2014
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Assad condemns fitness levels after ‘sudden outbreak of asthma’ among Syrians

a massive bombardment of salbutamol should sort itSyrian President Bashar al-Assad has told the world’s media that he ‘will not rest’ until residents of Damascus commit to the sort of physical exercise regime that would prevent them succumbing to the sudden bouts of asthma captured on news footage last week.

‘I am sure the whole world will join me in condemning the irresponsible lifestyle choices of my subjects,’ said President Assad today. ‘Gasping for breath, clawing at your face, even suddenly falling down and dying – any doctor will tell you that this is the fate that befalls you if you don’t partake in regular aerobic exercise. It is a sobering lesson for Syria, but we will learn from it and move on.’

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2013
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Attack on UK embassy in Iran ‘result of Ferrero Rocher shortage’

‘The Ambassador’s receptions are noted in Iranian society for their host’s exquisite taste that captivates his guests,’ said one international commentator, ‘but on this occasion he really let his guests down.’

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Posted: Nov 30th, 2011
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Mugabe calls for UK to be kicked out of Commonwealth

Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe has claimed that week’s expenses revelations are symptomatic of the widespread corruption within British politics.

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Posted: May 14th, 2009
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