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Posts Tagged ‘Santa Claus’

Father Christmas bemoans zero hours contract

exclusivity deal means he can't work anywhere elsePopular present delivery service Father Christmas has called on the Government to do more to prevent the use of controversial zero hours contracts. ‘Don’t get me wrong,’ he explained, ‘it’s better than being unemployed, but I just have to wait around all year waiting for the call to say they’ve got some work for me. Did you know, I’ve only done 500 days work in the last 500 years? If it wasn’t for all the mince pies I can grab on Christmas Eve I don’t think I’d survive the year.’

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2014
More from World News



MPs accuse Santa of scaremongering over threats to universal present delivery

North Pole or Amazon? Your choice.Santa Claus has been accused of scaremongering after he told a committee of MPs that the universal present service is under threat. Appearing before the Business, Skills and Innovation Committee Claus told MPs that his ability to deliver presents on time to children in the remotest parts of the UK could no longer be guaranteed.

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Posted: Dec 5th, 2014
More from World News



Tories to stop Santa migration by Christmas

nothing at all to declare, apart from 65 million bottles of Baileys David Cameron has announced plans to curb the flood of European migrant workers, specifically mythological 4th-century Greek bishops, from invading our homes.

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Posted: Oct 20th, 2014
More from UK News



Google and Vatican team up to create ‘SoulView’

‘Basically, most internet users are going to Hell,’ said Page. ‘Yes, you, Arthur Bennett of Halifax, searching repeatedly for “hot nurse bending over in short dress”. Or you, Patrick Jenn of Islington, searching for “schoolgirl with big jugs in PE kit”. You people make me sick.’

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Posted: Dec 12th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Santa to challenge decision to award present franchise to Easter Bunny

promising to run away from franchise at first sign of troubleBearded franchise-holder Father Christmas today strongly criticised the Government’s decision to award the West Coast Christmas Eve present-delivery franchise to his rival, the Easter Bunny.

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2012
More from Business