NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Santa Claus’

Tories to stop Santa migration by Christmas

nothing at all to declare, apart from 65 million bottles of Baileys David Cameron has announced plans to curb the flood of European migrant workers, specifically mythological 4th-century Greek bishops, from invading our homes.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 20th, 2014
More from UK News



Google and Vatican team up to create ‘SoulView’

‘Basically, most internet users are going to Hell,’ said Page. ‘Yes, you, Arthur Bennett of Halifax, searching repeatedly for “hot nurse bending over in short dress”. Or you, Patrick Jenn of Islington, searching for “schoolgirl with big jugs in PE kit”. You people make me sick.’

Read more >

Posted: Dec 12th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Santa to challenge decision to award present franchise to Easter Bunny

promising to run away from franchise at first sign of troubleBearded franchise-holder Father Christmas today strongly criticised the Government’s decision to award the West Coast Christmas Eve present-delivery franchise to his rival, the Easter Bunny.

Read more >

Posted: Dec 9th, 2012
More from Business



Christmas cancelled as Kim Jong-Il is revealed as the real Santa Claus

The reason behind North Korea’s legendary paranoia was revealed as Kim Jong-Il died this week and Christmas across the world had to be cancelled at short notice. ‘Father Christmas is dead, we are nothing and our labours in his many toy factories have been pointless.’ Wept Kim News-Reader as she spoke to the nation.

Read more >

Posted: Dec 20th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Christian festival to be moved to avoid clash with Christmas

Satanic market forces at work‘In hindsight choosing 25th December was a mistake. We thought it would be a great time to have the festival – practically everyone’s off work for Christmas and the schools are closed. But in reality people are far too busy eating too much, getting pissed, trying to cop off at office parties and watching the My Family Christmas special.’

Read more >

Posted: Dec 8th, 2011
More from Faith