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Posts Tagged ‘Santa Claus’

Christmas cancelled as Santa fails CRB check

Christmas 2010 has had to be cancelled until further notice following checks on Father Christmas revealed that he had not had the required Criminal Records Bureau clearance to enter a large number of children’s bedrooms after nightfall.

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Posted: Nov 24th, 2010
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Coca Cola pull the plug on Santa

Beverage giants Coca Cola announced today that they will be ending their sponsorship of Father Christmas after a disappointing December.

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Posted: Dec 30th, 2009
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Justice Secretary accepts that ‘he’s gonna find out who’s naughty and nice’ is inadequate deterrent

Justice Secretary Jack Straw has today admitted that the practice of warning young offenders that Santa Claus might not bring them a present if they don’t behave themselves over the course of the year may not be tough enough.

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Posted: Dec 22nd, 2009
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UPS buy 40% stake ‘in Santa’

On a statement on their website today, Santa Claus Deliveries Inc. has confirmed that it has accepted a bid from UPS for a 40% stake in its distribution service.

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Posted: Dec 20th, 2009
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Christmas in jeopardy after Santa refuses CRB check

Santa Clause‘We rather feel that if a childless man is to be granted nocturnal access to the bedrooms of millions of children around the world, he should submit to some basic investigation.’

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2009
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