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Posts Tagged ‘santa’

Clegg ‘in tears’ after Cameron reveals truth about Santa

it's really going to hurt when he reaises Lib Dem voters don't exist eitherNick Clegg is reported to have fled the Cabinet Briefing Room in tears today following an ‘emotional’ and ‘frank’ discussion with David Cameron about Father Christmas.

‘I told Dave to stop,’ said Vince Cable, ‘but he seemed to be enjoying Nick’s discomfort a little too much. He had this sly little smile on his face. George Osborne was there too, warming his backside against the fire and throwing in snide comments about the Tooth Fairy.’

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2014
More from Politics



John Lewis penguin escapes forced marriage hell

never knowingly taken up the aisleA female penguin has hit out against retail giant John Lewis for what is being described as a ‘forced and highly illegal marriage’ between herself and ‘Monty’, co-star of the widely anticipated Christmas commercial released last week. The flightless bird, who hit headlines for her brief appearance in the advert, claims the whole setup was against her will, and that she intends to press charges against the well-known high street chain.

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Posted: Nov 11th, 2014
More from UK News



Santa may not deliver presents to an independent Scotland

The SNP has reacted angrily to reports in the media that Father Christmas may not automatically deliver presents to children in a newly-independent Scotland.

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Posted: Nov 29th, 2013
More from News In Brief



‘All I want for Christmas is my two big boobs’ say UK’s 9 year old girls

Er...Girls in the 8-10 demographic have stated that what Santa must bring them this Noël is a pair of perfectly-formed, fully-grown breasts.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2013
More from Lifestyle



‘Get more poor kids onto the Nice List or lose your monopoly’, Santa warned

there goes Christmas..Father Christmas has been threatened with the removal of his monopoly in the UK present distribution market following the publication of this year’s Naughty or Nice lists.

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Posted: Dec 20th, 2012
More from Business