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‘No safe limit’ for pizza
Chief Medical Officer Dame Sally Davies, 66, shocked the UK’s population with the announcement today that there is no safe consumption level for pizza. [read...]
Tagged satire
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Danny Dyer to appear on £20 note
Danny Dyer will appear on the next £20 note, it has emerged. The English actor will controversially replace artist JMW Turner as the Banknote Character Advisory Committee’s number one choice. According to Bank of England Governor, [read...]
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Fudges from Cadbury’s Heroes stoically hanging on
12 mini fudges are grimly holding on to the possibility of being picked out of their big tub and eaten by someone, in spite of overwhelming evidence that no-one likes them, it has been confirmed. [read...]
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Breakfast cereal mascots stand united on Lidl ban
Characters representing some of the nation’s best loved cereals put on a show of unity today in the wake of the decision by Lidl to ban cartoon effigies from its breakfast treats. Outside Lidl London headquarters, [read...]
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Most couples opt for ‘uncivil’ partnership
Despite thousands of heterosexual couples in England and Wales entering into civil partnerships, a far greater number will be moving to a state of awkward silence and passive aggressive comments about the ‘state of the bins’. [read...]