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Posts Tagged ‘satire’

Family says Newquay holiday arguments amongst best ever

iPod row 'spectacular'A family which has just returned from a caravan holiday in Newquay say it was the best holiday they’ve ever had, thanks to the family rows during their fortnight’s break.

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2015
More from From The Archives



Migrants complain Eurostar delays ‘unacceptable’

Migrants have been making a series of complaints today at delays experienced at the Eurostar tunnel.

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Seagulls could be used in war against IS, warns Cameron

per ardua, ad chipsDavid Cameron has said seagulls from Devon and Cornwall could be sent to Syria in a bid to help coalition forces tackle Islamist insurgents. A spokesperson for the unfussy seabirds said the gulls were definitely ‘up for a fight’, and would do whatever it takes to repel the terrorist threat posed by IS militia, especially if there was a fish supper in it for them.

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Posted: Jul 25th, 2015
More from World News



Academies ‘just a posh word for schools’, expert admits

An expert formerly employed by the Department of Education, now thought to have gone rogue, admitted today that the government’s much-vaunted ‘academies’ programme consists solely of calling schools by another word that means the same thing.

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Posted: Jul 25th, 2015
More from News In Brief



New Labour to release cover version of ‘Just Say No’ (to socialism)

Things can only get bitterNew Labour has announced it will reform and record a special charity single – a cover of the Grange Hill classic ‘Just Say No’ – to warn against dabbling in left-wing politics.

‘Back in the 70s and 80s a lot of my friends were regularly leaning to the left,’ New Labour frontman Tony Blair told a packed press conference. ‘To watch their voter base slowly fade away as they shrank into the shadow of opposition broke my heart so much that I felt I needed a transplant. I was determined to stamp it out in the 90s and now socialism has reared its ugly head again, it’s time to get the old gang back together, with the possible exception of Prescott, and do something.’

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2015
More from Politics