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Posts Tagged ‘satire’

Zayn quits 1D in protest over Clarkson

some say that's what makes them beautiful, but not manyPre-pubescent girls around the globe were left reeling from the double disappointment of their two favourite pin-ups leaving to pursue solo projects this week. Zayn and Clarkson have been long time admirers of one another, both wearing ‘mom jeans’ while singing ballads; but neither felt like continuing without the other to inspire him to smoke a joint or punch a work colleague.

Zayn Malik’s publicist released a tersely-worded statement: ‘With Top Gear losing Clarkson, Zayn felt that it was time to call it a day. You can’t be expected to sing five part harmonies about love, if the one you love is no more.’ Likewise Clarkson admitted to close friends that he could never feel the throbbing urgency of a V8 engine without thinking about ‘Zayn’s tushie’.

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Posted: Mar 25th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment



UK desperately hoping America loves James Corden

People who own televisions in Great Britain are really hoping that American TV viewers instantly take to James Cordon, so much so that they selfishly keep him Stateside and refuse to sell any show he’s involved with to any non-US broadcasters.

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Posted: Mar 25th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Have you been mis-sold a ‘freedom from prosecution’ letter?

Following the statement that letters to the IRA providing immunity from prosecution shouldn’t be considered legal, a plethora of call centres have been contacting members of the public offering to obtain compensation.

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Posted: Mar 25th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Narnia receives scathing TripAdvisor review

it was all in the 400-page brochure, if only they'd looked‘If we wanted talking animals with a tedious moral message we would have gone to Disneyland. Needless to say, we won’t be returning.’

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Posted: Mar 25th, 2015
More from From The Archives



MPs say they should remain anonymous until charged with sex offences

Nothing to see here. Move along.As investigations into establishment child abuse drag on, members of Parliament’s Double Standards Select Committee have decided that Operation Yewtree’s method of allowing the media to name suspected celebrity paedophiles to help encourage other victims to speak up would be ‘inexcusable’ if it were applied to cases involving Right Honourable sex offenders.

Committee chairman Keith Vaz said the proposed reform was ‘long overdue’ now that the voting public’s focus has largely shifted from common celebrities to the Westminster establishment.

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2015
More from Politics