‘It’s probable that some areas are going to experience double digit temperatures over Christmas,’ conceded a Met Office official today. ‘We think it could be due to a warm southerly front or the new supercomputer overheating, but there is a real risk of a warm Christmas, with grey skies and light drizzle. You know, like the last 45 Christmases everywhere outside the Scottish Highlands, only a bit warmer still.’
Charities are in crisis mode as they realise that the homeless might prefer to sit outside in balmy weather rather than be fussed over by God bothering, happy-clappy do-gooders in draughty church halls. ‘We have a lake of soup to dispense on Christmas Day, now it looks like we need to find sufficient stocks of white gazpacho at a time of high demand, a real nightmare situation,’ said one charity worker.
Posted: Dec 19th, 2014
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