The Bank of England has expressed concern that cost of knighthoods has risen beyond the reach of the ordinary corrupt, egotistical, rich bastard in the street. The Governor, Sir Sir Sir Sir Sir Andrew Bailey, [read...]
Owners of Cheerios have been urged to contact their Weetabix dealers as soon as possible, due to a serious fault discovered across the entire range of models manufactured by Nestle. A faulty electrical component key to Cheerio functionality has been discovered which can cause individual rings to explode. [read...]
Details are sketchy at the moment but it’s understood that each morning at sunrise, and then again at sunset, a new Government Broadcasting Corporation, formed to replace the BBC, will play a medley of The Dambusters March, [read...]
Footballer Marcus Rashford has allegedly revealed to friends that he’s no longer sure if he had a Zoom meeting with Gavin Williamson or Dominic Raab. A spokesperson for the England international said ‘It’s pretty weird that guaranteeing poor kids have enough food to eat is such a long conversation. [read...]
National Insurance contributions are being increased, in a move likely to be popular with Conservatives, as it disproportionately targets the young and lower earners, two groups least able to pay and who would be insufficiently targeted by tax rises. [read...]
