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Posts Tagged ‘satire’

Britain mourns Saudi king by hanging prisoners at half mast

Human rights campaigners have condemned the British government’s decision to show solidarity with mourning Saudis by hanging prisoners at half mast. Shoplifters, car thieves and a woman who was once caught dancing are among those currently hoisted over palaces and government buildings.

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2015
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Patriots gather to commemorate Britain’s greatest queue

Commemorations are taking place in London today to mark the half centenary of what most historians agree to be Britain’s greatest queue. It is 50 years since thousands of patriots lined up outside Westminster Hall to view the body of some bloke who used to be the Prime Minister during World War Two.

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2015
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Page 3 to feature extracts from Chilcot inquiry

'Actually, string 'em up,' says Rupert, 83In a surprise U-turn, The Sun has renewed its commitment to publishing salacious images that may cause offence to decent people everywhere, including Tony Blair and George W. Bush in a series of compromising positions with Weapons of Mass Destruction. Editor David Dinsmore explained: ‘Figuratively speaking Blair and Bush were the biggest pair of tits we could find. And there are plenty more breast-related puns where that one came from, oh yes. Just keep counting.’

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2015
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Nigeria comes to Britain’s aid over deficit

Osborne has entered a 100% risk free business relationship’ with Dr Umaru Shinkafi Egwuatu, director of the Nigerian Petroleum Trust Fund, for a share in a $600 million construction contract that Nigerian officials over-invoiced to the tune of $635.5 million with the intention of sharing the remaining $35.5 million among themselves

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2015
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Rabbits ‘have no intention of punching the Pope’

Despite Pope Francis’s provocative insinuation that their mothers breed ‘like Catholics’, a spokes-rabbit has confirmed that modern rabbits are mature and civilised enough to avoid violence. They will instead invite His Holiness to sit down with rabbit representatives and constructively discuss the different approach to birth control by mothers in the two species

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2015
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