‘I find it staggering that no pandas managed to adopt children last year – local authorities must stop delaying adoptions in an attempt to find a perfect species match.’
Posted: Apr 23rd, 2013
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The makers of Marmite, the ‘love it or hate it’ yeast extract spread, are said to be ‘extremely anxious’ to track down the person who, against accepted common wisdom, said on Twitter that he was entirely ambivalent about their product.
Posted: Apr 21st, 2013
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‘If the changes had already been applied this may have saved the poor loves the extra work of having to claim £3,000 expenses for returning to work early to praise Margaret Thatcher.’
Posted: Apr 19th, 2013
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Following an attempt yesterday by six-time Olympic gold medallist Sir Chris Hoy to retire from professional cycling, the Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith has immediately legislated to require all members of team GB to continue professional competition ‘until at least 75 years of age, preferably longer’.
Posted: Apr 18th, 2013
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Scientists today expressed excitement that the pioneering android Chancellor, Gideon11, may have for the first time experienced something equivalent to human emotion.
Posted: Apr 17th, 2013
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