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Posts Tagged ‘satire’

Queue freaks flock to theme parks for the wait of their lives

‘There’s just something very British about being herded like sheep through narrow channels in the blistering heat at Thorpe Park,’ said father of five, Wayne Leech. ‘The only downside is having to go on the bloody rides.’

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Posted: Aug 18th, 2014
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Scientists confirm couple’s baby ‘actually IS centre of the universe’

Physicists have confirmed that there is in fact a centre of the universe and that it is Benjamin James Milton, an 18-month old toddler from Knutsford, Cheshire.

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Posted: Aug 18th, 2014
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Jack and Jill sue over inappropriate medical advice

‘We went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,’ Jack explained, ‘when I fell back down, fracturing the crown of my head in the process. When Jill rang NHS 111, they suggested bed rest and patching me up with vinegar and brown paper. The next day I learned from my GP that this would not have helped in the slightest.’

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Posted: Aug 17th, 2014
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Reliance on solar power could lead to wars over sunlight, warns expert

Our reliance on the sun could see the country sucked into unwinnable wars, and sleepwalking into the dark ages

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Posted: Aug 17th, 2014
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Raid at Sir Cliff Richard’s house found ‘disturbing calendar images’

Over fifty prospective images for a planned 2015 calendar were discovered on hard-drives and mobile phone devices during the dawn bust, some of which have already been classed as ‘Category A’ and ‘totally gross’.

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Posted: Aug 16th, 2014
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