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Posts Tagged ‘satire’

Old woman in bus queue fails to disclose her age

there's nothing grander than a nice day outAn elderly woman in Beaconsfield who spent twenty minutes in a bus queue failed to disclose her age, despite several opportunities. People waiting for the number 39 circular were left stunned when their fellow passenger mounted the bus, having only complained about the weather, the price of digestive biscuits and the youth of today.

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Posted: May 21st, 2015
More from Features



Cannes also cracking down on short actors

Having courted controversy by requiring all women to wear heels on the red carpet, the Cannes Film Festival has now insisted that all pint-sized actors must bring their own pogo stick. Gone is the Golden Era of Hollywood, when Mickey Rooney could demand to be placed on a plinth and his co-stars were forced to saw their own legs off at the knee.

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Posted: May 21st, 2015
More from News In Brief



BBC journalists get VIP tour of flagship Qatar prison

The Qatari government, keen to improve its reputation on human rights ahead of the 2020 World Cup, has allowed BBC journalists to witness its new detention arrangements at first hand. In a new era of welcoming foreign media reporting of the progress being made in the country, four BBC workers were treated to a two-night stay at His Majesty Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani’s pleasure.

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Posted: May 21st, 2015
More from News In Brief



Labour to show business-friendly credentials by snorting cocaine

Labour's only remaining option to get its confidence backStung by the revelation that its election campaign did not understand the worlds of enterprise and high finance, the contenders for the party leadership have vowed to prove their business credentials. This will start next week, with Yvette Cooper offering her naked buttocks as a cocaine-cruet for Andy Burnham.

‘In hindsight, our campaign lacked the energy that business-minded people can bring to the party,’ said Burnham, announcing the snorting programme. ‘We have overlooked the kind of people who aspire to prosperity, wealth and reckless behaviour involving snorting Class A drugs from leadership contenders’ naked flesh.’

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Posted: May 20th, 2015
More from Politics



Tories to rebuild Hadrian’s Wall

The Conservatives have announced plans to rebuild Hadrian’s Wall in a massive new infrastructure project that will create up to 100,000 new jobs. Project costs of £50 billion will be met by scrapping the controversial HS2 rail project. The wall is to be modelled on the DMZ that divides North and South Korea and will be renamed the ‘Thatcher parallel’.

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Posted: May 20th, 2015
More from News In Brief