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Posts Tagged ‘satire’

Rosetta scientist ‘still can’t park his Ford Mondeo properly’, claim colleagues

The scientist successful in landing a dishwasher-sized probe on a distant rock hurtling through space at 34,000mph failed to reverse park a Ford Mondeo into a generously sized parking bay this morning, it’s been revealed.

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Posted: Nov 13th, 2014
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Miliband declares victory in US Midterms‏

Apparently Mr Miliband 'whupped their asses real good'Much to the surprise and delight of the Labour faithful, their leader announced sweeping gains in the US Senate today. Despite being separated by a political ideology and 3000 miles of Atlantic Ocean, Ed Miliband was able to take the credit for the Republican Party’s recent success and for becoming the first British female solo artist to have five number one singles in the UK.

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Posted: Nov 12th, 2014
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ESA admit ‘comet’ they followed for ten years was just speck of dust on camera

Scientists at the European Space Agency have admitted they have made an embarrassing mistake. Moments after the Rosetta spacecraft released its Philae lander to land on a comet it has been chasing for ten years, they realised the comet was actually just a speck of dust on the camera.

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Posted: Nov 12th, 2014
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John Lewis penguin escapes forced marriage hell

never knowingly taken up the aisleA female penguin has hit out against retail giant John Lewis for what is being described as a ‘forced and highly illegal marriage’ between herself and ‘Monty’, co-star of the widely anticipated Christmas commercial released last week. The flightless bird, who hit headlines for her brief appearance in the advert, claims the whole setup was against her will, and that she intends to press charges against the well-known high street chain.

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Posted: Nov 11th, 2014
More from UK News



Bluetooth devices protest against ‘arranged pairings’

Bluetooth devices have reacted angrily to being forced into pairings with other devices without their consent.

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Posted: Nov 11th, 2014
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