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Posts Tagged ‘satire’

No hard feelings, says PM as third Tory rebel dies in mysterious circumstances

off to get a sinister pair of glasses in the morningClive Tuck is reported to have driven his car off a cliff at a secluded beauty spot after first lashing his hands to the wheel and consuming an entire bottle of whiskey.

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2014
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Mr C banned from Billingsgate market for excessive ‘salmon’ requests

e's, obviouslyMr C, enigmatic frontman of early ’90s rave outfit The Shaman, has been handed a lifetime ban from Billingsgate fish market, lawyers representing the vendors’ association said today. The association lodged a formal complaint against the artist, real name Colin Angus, accusing him of habitually enquiring as to whether or not vendors stocked a certain product. He would then say ‘sorted’ and walk off without buying anything.

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Posted: Oct 24th, 2014
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Parallel world lacks parallel bars

Dr Micky Schmidt of NASA says Earth2 has Hollyoaks, Subbuteo, Partick Thistle, the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, bees, both Brian Coxes and headlines dominated by a gravy woman who has just died

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Posted: Oct 24th, 2014
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Premier League to outsource match production to India

‘The move will mean we will be able to hold season ticket prices,’ said a spokesman. ‘Admittedly fans will have to travel to the sub-continent to actually watch the matches, but the brands will be the same and that is what really matters.’

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Posted: Oct 24th, 2014
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‘Walking with humans’ now number one thing-to-do-before-you-die for dolphins

next item: don't get caught in tuna netThe practice has been hailed as one of the most therapeutic and life-affirming experiences the world can offer a sea mammal

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Posted: Oct 24th, 2014
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