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Posts Tagged ‘satnav’

Politicians to replace faulty moral compass with new Ethical Sat Nav

Members of Parliament need never get lost againMPs are preparing for the arrival of a new piece of wearable technology that will help them navigate difficult terrain and always guide them towards the high moral ground.

The EPS, or Ethical Positioning System, operates by triangulating a person’s political standpoint via a number of morally aware ‘smart satellites’. If a politician starts to veer off course, perhaps about to break a manifesto pledge, the Sat Nav will interrupt with the message: ‘You are no longer on the agreed route, please perform a U-turn now.’

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Posted: Jan 7th, 2014
More from Politics



Intelligent car afraid to leave garage

The car has refused to leave its garage, citing ‘idiots in Citroen Saxos and a mad man in an Audi that tried to hump me from behind’.

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Posted: Dec 8th, 2011
More from News In Brief



32% rely on smartphone to cross a road

totally reliable unless the battery runs out‘Smartphones even seem able to predict when cars will screech to a halt or other people will dive out of the way.’

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Posted: Sep 20th, 2011
More from Science/Technology



Greenwich admits using Essex man’s bowel movements for World Clock

Boffins at the Royal Observatory at Greenwich have revealed that they have never actually been able to get atomic clocks to work properly and have, for the last thirty years, been taking the standard for world time from the bowel movements of Billericay resident, James Watson.

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Posted: Sep 18th, 2011
More from News In Brief