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Posts Tagged ‘schools’

Government favours unqualified stab victims

The Department for Education has questioned the profitability of using teachers as student ‘pin cushions’, when Academies and unqualified staff can offer much better value for money. As West Yorkshire experiences its second stabbing incident by a pupil in as many years, Ministers have proposed that staff be replaced with un-unionised piñatas.

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Posted: Jun 12th, 2015
More from Education



Maverick headteachers kidnap Ofsted

Following complaints from the National Union of Whinging Heads that Ofsted is suppressing ‘maverick’ tendencies, an elite squad of maverick headteachers has taken ‘assertive action’ against the education regulator.

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Posted: May 2nd, 2015
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Teachers to talk about their divorces at primary school level

women(men) + home + life = hate + hate + hate + despairChildren as young as five will now be given compulsory lectures on their teachers’ domestic hell as Divorce Education is made compulsory in primary schools. The move comes amid fears children are accessing material such as Don’t Tell the Bride and One Born Every Minute, as well as websites depicting couples in healthy loving relationships, and getting a skewed impression of what marriage is really like.

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2015
More from Education



‘Excesssively moderate’ Islamic State school put into special measures

they're learning tolerance, for God's sakeIslamic State’s education standards watchdog Ofrain (Office for Radical Indoctrination) has downgraded the struggling nation’s one and only school to ‘inadequate’ after their inspectors discovered a worrying lack of extremism and a failure to safeguard pupils from literacy, numeracy, science, history and geography.

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2015
More from Education, Faith



Michael Gove unveils revisionist history syllabus featuring “World War Fun!”

Your country needs ME!Out goes the image of General Sir Douglas Haig as a ruthless incompetent and in comes the image of General Sir Douglas Haig the caring sensitive, people-friendly line manager.

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Posted: Feb 14th, 2015
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