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Posts Tagged ‘schools’

‘Excesssively moderate’ Islamic State school put into special measures

they're learning tolerance, for God's sakeIslamic State’s education standards watchdog Ofrain (Office for Radical Indoctrination) has downgraded the struggling nation’s one and only school to ‘inadequate’ after their inspectors discovered a worrying lack of extremism and a failure to safeguard pupils from literacy, numeracy, science, history and geography.

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2015
More from Education, Faith



Michael Gove unveils revisionist history syllabus featuring “World War Fun!”

Your country needs ME!Out goes the image of General Sir Douglas Haig as a ruthless incompetent and in comes the image of General Sir Douglas Haig the caring sensitive, people-friendly line manager.

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Posted: Feb 14th, 2015
More from From The Archives



Lib Dems to eliminate main cause of childhood illiteracy – stupid children

another vote winner!In a bold statement of intent, Liberal Democratic Party leader Nick Clegg has set out his kid-free vision of the future. With a clear manifesto commitment, the Liberal Democrats expect to put an end to small people saying ‘I’m bored’ or ‘It’s not fair’ and monopolising all the jelly. By 2025, the Lib Dems have also promised to eradicate nose-picking in public.

A party spokeswoman explained: ‘We are not going to euthanise the grammatically challenged kiddie-winks as such. That would be cruel and, more to the point, time-consuming. We are just going to reclassify them as ‘stupid very young adults’. As such, they will be legally entitled to vote Liberal Democrat.’

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2015
More from Education



Teachers say MPs should commit to their profession by taking a ‘Hypocritic Oath’

Teachers around the country have voted in favour of getting MPs to take a ‘hypocritic oath’ in the hope that it would make them ‘try harder in future’ to keep standards of hypocrisy at a level in line with public expectations.

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Posted: Oct 13th, 2014
More from News In Brief



GCSEs to be replaced by Hunger Games

streaming at its best‘For too long, we have allowed young people to leave school without a basic grasp of mental arithmetic, grammar or machetes’.

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Posted: Aug 11th, 2014
More from From The Archives