NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘schools’

Lib Dems to eliminate main cause of childhood illiteracy – stupid children

another vote winner!In a bold statement of intent, Liberal Democratic Party leader Nick Clegg has set out his kid-free vision of the future. With a clear manifesto commitment, the Liberal Democrats expect to put an end to small people saying ‘I’m bored’ or ‘It’s not fair’ and monopolising all the jelly. By 2025, the Lib Dems have also promised to eradicate nose-picking in public.

A party spokeswoman explained: ‘We are not going to euthanise the grammatically challenged kiddie-winks as such. That would be cruel and, more to the point, time-consuming. We are just going to reclassify them as ‘stupid very young adults’. As such, they will be legally entitled to vote Liberal Democrat.’

Read more >

Posted: Jan 20th, 2015
More from Education



Teachers say MPs should commit to their profession by taking a ‘Hypocritic Oath’

Teachers around the country have voted in favour of getting MPs to take a ‘hypocritic oath’ in the hope that it would make them ‘try harder in future’ to keep standards of hypocrisy at a level in line with public expectations.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 13th, 2014
More from News In Brief



GCSEs to be replaced by Hunger Games

streaming at its best‘For too long, we have allowed young people to leave school without a basic grasp of mental arithmetic, grammar or machetes’.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 11th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Head teachers propose 46 weeks holiday

Head teachers are expected to call for the entire school year to fall within the current six-week summer holidays, at the NAHT union’s annual conference.

Read more >

Posted: May 4th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Britain to swap creepy PE teachers with China

As part of an exchange programme, Shanghai has agreed to import 60 British PE teachers in exchange for 60 of its finest Maths specialists. The Department for Education sees this as a golden opportunity to raise skill levels and teach China some new things.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 16th, 2014
More from News In Brief