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Posts Tagged ‘schools’

Michael Gove unveils revisionist history syllabus featuring “World War Fun!”

Your country needs ME!Education Secretary Michael Gove has announced changes to the history GCSE syllabus that will reflect ‘a more accurate and balanced’ view of World War One as a bit of jolly fun instead of a four-year cataclysmic bloodbath that drained the nation’s power and prestige and caused untold mental and physical suffering to millions.

The traditional view of the so-called ‘Great War’ as four years of futile barbaric slaughter is wrong, says Gove. ‘Historicans and commentators have long been calling for a “debunking” of wartime myths,’ he insisted. ‘At least, the ones I’ve been paying to advise me have. And that’s enough.’

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Posted: Feb 13th, 2014
More from Education



Dip in January book sales blamed on Michael Gove ‘teaching manual’

definitive, until he changes his mindWaterstones have today announced that pre-orders of the widely anticipated manual, ‘Teaching: Everything I know’, penned by education minister Michael Gove, have been ‘spiralling into negative figures’.

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Posted: Jan 21st, 2014
More from UK News



School places to be allocated on a ‘bagsy’ basis

‘Some critics say that this is harsh, but as we all know, there is no higher authority than a bagsy.’

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Posted: Jan 2nd, 2014
More from News In Brief



GCSEs to be replaced by Hunger Games

streaming at its bestAmidst concerns over failing educational standards, it was announced today that the GCSE is to be replaced by a Hunger Games-style contest, in which 16-year-olds will exchange statutory secondary school qualifications for a gladiatorial fight to the death. It is hoped that the new measures will not only improve unemployment statistics in the 16+ demographic, but also combat teenage obesity, pregnancy and undue dependence on Candy Crush Saga.

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Posted: Aug 24th, 2013
More from Education



Schools to make their own Goves using 3D printers

When state schools receive their new 3D printers the first thing they will be expected to do will be to make their own Michael Gove. The Goves are expected to be exact replicas of the Secretary of State for Education and will probably be situated in headteachers’ offices.

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2013
More from News In Brief