If you think that technology is already giving free rein for twats and psychos to make a mess of everything, you really haven’t seen anything yet, experts have warned today. The ‘Internet of Things’, which has come of age in recent years and is expected to consist of about 50 billion objects by 2020, [read...]
A crack team of mathematicians at CERN has uncovered the long sought-after Universal Theory of Hotel Lighting. “It’s a mathematician’s dream”, said Dr Ernst Jackson of the CERN Rapid Response Mathematics Squad. “Solving the lights in an individual room is trivial. [read...]
At the prestigious awards ceremony held in Moscow, Novichok expressed its joy and pride at being awarded ‘nerve agent of the year’ for 2018.
‘I’m blown away, I really am,’ gushed Novichok. ‘The competition was so strong this year. [read...]
Steven Hawking has handed his legacy to the long suffering voice synthesiser, it has emerged. Friends close to the the 76 year old titan of theoretical physics -who died on Wednesday- said that in recent years Hawking had delegated increasing amounts of the more mundane elements of black hole research to the machine. [read...]
Black Holes are an area the size of Wales (but with fewer irritating road signs). They can be fit into an empty crisp packet, which can be inflated then popped, sending cheese and onion fragments incalculably infinite distances into the universe forever. [read...]