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Posts Tagged ‘science’

New study adds nothing to the world whatsoever

The ‘groundbreaking’ work is expected to be of no benefit whatsoever to anybody other than desperate science journalists trying to fill empty column inches.

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2011
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Government science advisors to be replaced by tabloid columnists

The Government has made the controversial move of sacking all of its scientific advisors today in favour of asking tabloid columnists ‘what they reckon about stuff.’

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Posted: Aug 22nd, 2011
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Government to regulate scientists with regional accents

Minister for Universities and Science, David Willetts has written to further education establishments in England and Wales requesting that as part of their science courses they introduce mandatory modules on communication skills and elocution.
One government spokesman said the growing trend for ‘normal’ accents is ‘undermining the gravitas and integrity of British science and must stop right now.’

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Posted: Mar 21st, 2011
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Greenwich Mean Time becomes meaner in 2011 following Government cuts

cuts to last until 2015, or twenty five past eight, as it used to be knownAs the chimes of Big Ben rang out and the cheers of the crowds in Trafalgar Square heralded another New Year, the Government’s little publicised plan to reduce Greenwich Mean Time by 1 minute per hour came into immediate effect.

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Posted: Jan 4th, 2011
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Scientists enjoying irony of baldness cure causing sexual problems

Concerns that anti-baldness drug Propecia may cause sexual problems such as impotence have been described as ‘hilarious’ by scientists.

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Posted: Dec 21st, 2010
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