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Posts Tagged ‘Scotland’

‘Midge may have headed south’ warn Strathclyde Police

Police searching for a midge who attacked an Edinburgh man say they think the assailant may have left the Scottish Highlands and could now be operating in the East Devon area.

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2012
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Teenage pregnancy tests must get harder, orders Gove

But some critics point out that the test is already unpopular. ‘Most teenagers will only piss on a stick if it’s being filmed for a dodgy website,’ said a spokeswoman for one pregnancy testing service.

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2012
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Scotland leaves United Kingdom, replaced by Belgium

In a stunning diplomatic coup Prime Minister David Cameron has announced the formal accession of Belgium to the United Kingdom, replacing the tired and grumpy Scottish nation.

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Posted: Feb 16th, 2012
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Scotland to be released on compassionate grounds

'thanks for coming'It’s only fair to let them slip away peacefully into national self-determination.’

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Posted: Jan 11th, 2012
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Scots’ Justice Secretary to release Pandas on compassionate grounds

Two pandas recently incarcerated in an Edinburgh zoo are to be released on compassionate grounds after one of them was found to be suffering from terminal prostate cancer. The animals, destined to spend the rest of their lives behind bars after being found guilty of ‘looking really cute’ could be released as early as next week.

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Posted: Dec 28th, 2011
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