The recent decision by the Mills and Boon publishing house to move into sex education has been slammed as irresponsible by education experts for encouraging impossible romances, quivering bosoms and a penchant for exhilarating sex with topless manual labourers, whose skin glistens in the morning sun like fresh dew on a rosebud.
Posted: May 26th, 2011
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A takeaway outlet in Carshalton, Surrey has agreed to pay the vajazzle fees of any girl choosing ‘Kebab? Call 020 8669 1234567’ as their design. ‘We’d often wondered how to crack the elusive 17-25 male-pissed-out-of-head-and-needing-a-calorie-boost-after-some-late-night-action market segment, and think we’ve found the answer in the bejewelled lady va-jay-jay region ‘ said Ahmed Guleken, proprietor of Ahmed’s Klassy Kebabs. ‘We trialed the scheme recently with a focus group of 10 chavvy slags of local repute. Those sparkly slappers boosted our takings by 400% in just one weekend.’
Posted: Mar 28th, 2011
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On reading one entitled “Are You Letting Her Down?”, John felt he had to confront some of his basic fears; namely that he is letting his wife/girlfriend down. He could put a smile on her face if he was “larrrger”.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2011
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The worldwide multimillion dollar pornography industry has today admitted that they have run out of sexual positions, fetishes and fantasies to film.
Posted: Dec 28th, 2010
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The BBC has announced that a version of Nigella Lawson’s Christmas Kitchen which is entirely free of sexual suggestion will be shown over the festive season in a peak primetime slot. Her usual full-on X-rated programme will instead be confined to late-night schedules.
Posted: Dec 13th, 2010
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