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Posts Tagged ‘sex’

Impotent man has best kept house on street

Roger Jameson, a 57-year-old chartered surveyor from Ryde in the Isle of Wight, who has been suffering with impotence for the last four months, has recently thrown himself into a frenzy of DIY and household chores in an attempt to hide the problem from his ‘delighted’ wife Sheila, 55.

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2014
More from Isle of Wight News



Man finds ‘gorgeous’ new girlfriend via toilet graffiti

‘She’s got expensive tastes, every date costs a fortune. But, hell, she’s a real looker and, for an ex-convent girl, very broad-minded. Let’s face it, not every woman is happy to have sex on the first date.’

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Posted: Jun 4th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Kebab shop moves into ‘vajazzle sponsorship’

extras available on the side ‘We’d often wondered how to crack the elusive 17-25 male-pissed-out-of-head-and-needing-a-calorie-boost-after-some-late-night-action market segment.’

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Self-fellatio injury blamed on the Lynx Effect

overstretchedA 38-year-old Kent man is recovering in hospital today after dislocating his spine in an incident which he claims was caused by the ‘Lynx Effect’.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2014
More from Lifestyle



Phworr, French birds gagging for it, Hollande assures world

You should see some of the crumpet over here, French president Francois ‘Le Shaggeur’ Hollande has told the world’s press. He added that you’re guaranteed a good time the other side of Le Manche, thanks to his Socialist policies redistributing wealth to allow poor chicks to buy nice lingerie

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2014
More from News In Brief