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Posts Tagged ‘sex’

Adult entertainment industry mourns death of last man to pay for porn

Adult entertainers throughout the world flocked to a crematorium in south London yesterday to pay their dues to Eric Swell, the last known purchaser of full-price pornography. Germans and Swedes rubbed shoulders in the packed chapel as Mr Swell’s coffin glided through the curtains to the moving strains of ‘slap funk bass incidental 5 – the plumber rings the doorbell’.

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Posted: May 14th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Don’t get too close to melons, warns Alex Reid

‘The pair I got were really pricey. I’d take them to celebrity parties and we’d drink like crazy. Next morning, I’d be really hung over and the melons would be blotchy and a bit dented, but they were never more beautiful to me.’

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Posted: Feb 6th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Alleged ‘sex video’ replay makes it look worse than it was, says Terry

After reviewing video evidence which appears to show a sexual liaison between John Terry and a woman who is not his wife or official mistress Mr Terry has admitted that it doesn’t look good, but insisted that it was completely accidental and that ‘her run took her into me’.

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Posted: Apr 28th, 2012
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Mills and Boon sex education textbooks criticised for glamourising the unquenchable fires of love-play

ripping yarns‘Penchant for exhilarating sex with topless manual labourers, whose skin glistens in the morning sun like fresh dew on a rosebud.’

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Posted: May 26th, 2011
More from Education



Kebab shop moves into ‘vajazzle sponsorship’

extras available on the side ‘We’d often wondered how to crack the elusive 17-25 male-pissed-out-of-head-and-needing-a-calorie-boost-after-some-late-night-action market segment.’

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Posted: Mar 28th, 2011
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