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Posts Tagged ‘sheep’

Lamb of God ‘doesn’t want to take away the sins of the world’

Colin, a six-month-old Merino lamb at a farm in Norfolk who was recently named by the Almighty creator of Heaven and Earth as the latest in a series of beasts whose sacrifice will somehow blot out every awful thing humanity has done since the last time, has questioned the logic of the system. He has also joined with other ovines in calling for a review of the working relationship between the two species.

‘OK, so we’re not the brightest, I get that. Nine hours eating grass and eight hours ruminating every day doesn’t leave you a lot of time for abstract thought,’ said Colin, ‘but even I managed to work out what the role involves. No thanks. Find another dumb animal to symbolise things for a change. How about squirrels? They’re thick as pigshit.’

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Posted: Nov 3rd, 2015
More from Faith

What went on in the snowdrift to stay in the snowdrift, confirm rescued rams

What?Two rams who were trapped in a snowdrift in Antrim for 23 days and only managed to escape after the recent warm weather caused a thaw, today steadfastly refused to talk about their ordeal.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2013
More from Environment

Tribal leadership embroiled in ‘alternative goat’ electoral debate

Tebbitt still in with a chanceLeadership contests in a remote Kurdish tribe have been thrown into disarray by the introduction of the ‘alternative goat’ system. ‘It used to be so simple,’ said Amed, a returning officer. ‘The elders of a village would each put their best goat forward into a race, and the winning owner would lead the village and represent it at tribal level for the next five years. This first past the post system had its imperfections, but at least it produced a clear winner.’

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Posted: Feb 22nd, 2011
More from World News

Sheep ‘partly responsible’ for leading man into act of bestiality

A 56 year old man escaped a prison sentence for having sex with a sheep after a judge agreed that the victim was ‘partly responsible’ for the incident.

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2010
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