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Posts Tagged ‘silvio berlusconi’

Berlusconi doing community service inseminating pandas

Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who was recently sentenced to a year’s community service for tax fraud, has found work inseminating a giant panda at Edinburgh zoo, following failed attempts to mate her with a male panda. The zoo and the 77-year-old billionaire’s lawyers said that they were satisfied that the ruling was a win-win, allowing him to remain both politically and sexually active.

‘Tian Tian’s hormone levels had been falling drastically and at first she spurned his advances, but this didn’t deter Mr Berlusconi in the least,’ said Charles Osborne, director of breeding at Edinburgh. ‘He used all his experience and charm to woo her successfully and, fingers crossed, we hope to be able to announce shortly that she is expecting, er, something.’

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2014
More from World News



Italy evacuates 120,000 teenage girls from vicinity of Silvio Berlusconi

Shaddupa ya face.‘We urge you to dress sensibly, tell your parents and cooperate with the authorities, but not in the way that Silvio means it.’

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Judges just playing hard to get, insists Berlusconi

The three female judges at Silvio Berlusconi’s sex trial only returned a guilty verdict because they were struggling to accept their true feelings for him, claims the former Italian Prime Minister.

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Berlusconi to play Dame in Aladdin at Redditch

The Redditch Players pantomime has been given an added boost this year by the surprise booking of Siivio Berlusconi to play Widow Twankey.

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Posted: Nov 21st, 2011
More from News In Brief



Sacha Baron Cohen announces current series of ‘Berlusconi’ will be the last

Ironically, as the character is so convincing, many people don’t even realise that Berlusconi is a comedy character, so his creator gets much more recognition for his Ali G, Borat and Brüno personas.

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Posted: Nov 9th, 2011
More from Arts/Entertainment