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Posts Tagged ‘Simon Cowell’

1D-Day celebrations commemorate the death of music

if it wasn't for our brave boys, they'd be called 'Eine Richtung'Veterans, historians and girls with retainers are united today in marking 1D-Day a day of remembrance for ‘our boys’ struggle to overcome lacklustre hair, no musical ability and the Nazi occupation of France. Former groupies, internet trolls and serving members of the armed forces all paid their respect for the loss of melodies, the death of legible tattoos and remembered just how many ears had paid the ultimate sacrifice.

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Posted: Jun 5th, 2014
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‘Debbie’s Law’ to reveal if partners have a history of ‘being boring’

A new law that could be passed within months will make men and women aware of previous instances of ‘dullness’ and ‘boring behaviour’ in their partners.

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Posted: May 5th, 2014
More from Politics



Britain to become satanist by next Thursday

Confusion continues to mount about Britain’s religious status after theological experts extrapolated data to show that the country could be “mostly satanist”, possibly by as soon as Thursday.

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Posted: Apr 29th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Simon Cowell’s underpants set to rise 3ft by 2025

Experts at the University of Celebrity Studies say they have discovered a rare human phenomenon that could see Simon Cowell vanish from our screens and engulfed by his own underpants within the next 10 years, possibly sooner.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2014
More from News In Brief



‘Ebola’ bookies favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent

a new superstar to consume the public's hearts and mindsThe odds of a non-UK resident winning series eight of the ever popular talent show have dramatically shortened today, with the late entry of an outbreak of virulent hemorrhagic fever from Guinea.

Seen as ‘more photogenic than SuBo’, the virus promises to be just as ‘virulent as Diversity’, as ‘deadly as Paul Potts’ and guaranteed to cause ‘more internal bleeding’ than Jai McDowall’s last album. The 2012 BGT tour was axed due to low ticket sales, but EBOV is committed to ‘filling emergency rooms up and down the land’.

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Posted: Apr 1st, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment