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Posts Tagged ‘Simon Cowell’

Simon Cowell’s new show to find official ‘Best Thing Since Sliced Bread’

now looking for a profitable topping Porn, hamsters and Mohammed emerging as early favourites

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Posted: Oct 1st, 2015
More from From The Archives

Drone captures eerie image of abandoned X-Factor hopeful

A drone flying over the Basingstoke area has captured ‘spine-tingling’ and ‘disturbing’ images of a former X-Factor contestant, who had been personally built by Simon Cowell out of blonde highlights and his old Versace suits but was subsequently abandoned when a similar contestant on a rival show had ‘gone nuclear’ smashing up a famous London eaterie.

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2015
More from News In Brief

Odds on a Queen’s replacement shorten

A week of celebrations for a glorious reign has been marred by a leaked news report that Her Majesty has not nominated a successor. Members of the Privy Council have suggested that a president be either appointed or elected, on the grounds that ‘there is no family member who appears suitable for the job’.

Having employed the Prince of Wales as a ‘monarch stand-in’ for the Order of the Bath service, it has become apparent that the country needs a Head of State that can re-enact Pete & Dud routines not just hackneyed Goons impressions…

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Posted: Sep 9th, 2015
More from UK News

Reality TV needs to be more inclusive for Eton & Oxbridge graduates

‘If anything, the talent show format – of taking a moderately-talented under-achiever and then imbuing them with great wealth and power – should be the perfect vehicle for Eton’s boys’

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Posted: Aug 24th, 2015
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Iain Duncan Smith ‘was a made-up character’

Having admitted to using fake stories to support benefit cuts, the Department for Work & Pensions (DWP) has confessed to having fabricated an entire minister.

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Posted: Aug 19th, 2015
More from Politics