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Posts Tagged ‘Simon Cowell’

‘Britain’s Got Judges’ uncovering the best new talent show judges

Louis Walsh didn't even make Boot Camp‘Judging is my dream. I’ve been judging in pubs and clubs for years now and this is my last chance. This means everything to me. If only me nan was here…’

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Posted: Dec 10th, 2013
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Al-Qaeda postpones terror campaign until end of Strictly and X-Factor

bombing Dusseldorf to wait until Anne's danced the rumbaAl-Qaeda is struggling to secure sufficient numbers of bombers during the current series of Strictly Come Dancing and X-Factor.

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Posted: Nov 25th, 2013
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X-Factor announcer ‘sounds like that in real life’

Peter Dickson - annoying people in real-timeIrate neighbours of Peter Dickson, announcer on TV show the X-Factor, have demanded the council impose a noise abatement order on him.

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Posted: Nov 10th, 2013
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Brave Dave hires Cowell as election mogul

‘It’s really important to engage young voters with the people who run their country,’ said Cameron, his Old Etonian dialect taking on a distinct northern twang. ‘Why do you think I rarely wear a tie? It’s to make me look more like Gary Barlow. Everybody loves Gary Barlow.’

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Posted: Oct 28th, 2013
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One Direction film goes through UCAS clearing

there must be a scholarship for what they doThe University Clearing Service UCAS has confirmed a late application for a Music Technology BSc at the University of Bedfordshire from One Direction. Wary that fickle fame might desert them, the Anglo-Irish pop band admitted they needed to ‘get serious’ after what they described as a very enjoyable gap year. However, UCAS administrators had some reservations about the number of tariff points accumulated from the boys’ scant collection of mediocre GCSEs, used panties and coloured bits of string.

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Posted: Aug 22nd, 2013
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