NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Simon Cowell’

Brave Dave hires Cowell as election mogul

‘It’s really important to engage young voters with the people who run their country,’ said Cameron, his Old Etonian dialect taking on a distinct northern twang. ‘Why do you think I rarely wear a tie? It’s to make me look more like Gary Barlow. Everybody loves Gary Barlow.’

Read more >

Posted: Oct 28th, 2013
More from News In Brief



One Direction film goes through UCAS clearing

there must be a scholarship for what they doThe University Clearing Service UCAS has confirmed a late application for a Music Technology BSc at the University of Bedfordshire from One Direction. Wary that fickle fame might desert them, the Anglo-Irish pop band admitted they needed to ‘get serious’ after what they described as a very enjoyable gap year. However, UCAS administrators had some reservations about the number of tariff points accumulated from the boys’ scant collection of mediocre GCSEs, used panties and coloured bits of string.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 22nd, 2013
More from Arts/Entertainment



Simon Cowell admits to life-long affair with himself

Shamed X-Factor chief Simon Cowell was left facing difficult questions today after details of his sordid affair with himself were revealed by his former lover.

Lauren Silverman, whose own affair with Cowell ended when she discovered that he was seeing himself behind her back, claims the TV producer took himself on secret luxury holidays, ‘wined and dined himself’ in top London restaurants, and regularly booked himself into single rooms in 5-star hotels for one-in-a-bed romps. He then cruelly ended his relationship with Silverman by telling her ‘it’s not you, it’s me. Literally’.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 3rd, 2013
More from Celebrity



Simon Cowell slams German artist’s robot band

After the news a German artist has created ‘Compressorhead’, the first robot metal band, music mogul Simon Cowell has hit back claiming to have been inventing mechanical bands for years.

Read more >

Posted: Apr 15th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Simon Cowell’s new show to find official ‘Best Thing Since Sliced Bread’

now looking for a profitable topping Simon Cowell today announced that his latest ITV talent show will for the first time feature inanimate as well as animate objects as he invites the public to vote for the official best thing since sliced bread.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 3rd, 2012
More from Arts/Entertainment