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Posts Tagged ‘Simon Cowell’

Simon Cowell slams German artist’s robot band

After the news a German artist has created ‘Compressorhead’, the first robot metal band, music mogul Simon Cowell has hit back claiming to have been inventing mechanical bands for years.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2013
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Simon Cowell’s new show to find official ‘Best Thing Since Sliced Bread’

now looking for a profitable topping Simon Cowell today announced that his latest ITV talent show will for the first time feature inanimate as well as animate objects as he invites the public to vote for the official best thing since sliced bread.

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Posted: Oct 3rd, 2012
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Alesha Dixon criticised for only giving ‘100% yes’ to Britain’s Got Talent contestant

Britain’s Got Talent judge Alesha Dixon has been labelled ‘evil’ by viewers after sending 9-year-old singer Malakai Paul through to the next round with a mere ‘100% yes’.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2012
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ITV to drop all pretence with ‘Britain’s Got Freaks’

there probably won't be a second round ‘Today’s viewing public don’t care if a contestant’s unemployed Asperger’s Syndrome granny’s dying wish is to see them make the big time, we just want fatter, poorer and less attractive people than us humiliating themselves live on stage – it’s the ultimate in feelgood television.’

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2012
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New Archbishop to be chosen via TV variety show, Bishops Got Talent

will be asked to belch 'Archbishop of Canterbury' without pausing in the finale‘It’s high time people got to choose their Archbishop according to who can perform the best song and dance routine,’ said executive producer Simon Cowell. ‘I’m no theologian but I’m pretty sure it’s what Jesus would have wanted.’

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2012
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