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Posts Tagged ‘Simon Cowell’

Alesha Dixon criticised for only giving ‘100% yes’ to Britain’s Got Talent contestant

Britain’s Got Talent judge Alesha Dixon has been labelled ‘evil’ by viewers after sending 9-year-old singer Malakai Paul through to the next round with a mere ‘100% yes’.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2012
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ITV to drop all pretence with ‘Britain’s Got Freaks’

there probably won't be a second round ‘Today’s viewing public don’t care if a contestant’s unemployed Asperger’s Syndrome granny’s dying wish is to see them make the big time, we just want fatter, poorer and less attractive people than us humiliating themselves live on stage – it’s the ultimate in feelgood television.’

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2012
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New Archbishop to be chosen via TV variety show, Bishops Got Talent

will be asked to belch 'Archbishop of Canterbury' without pausing in the finale‘It’s high time people got to choose their Archbishop according to who can perform the best song and dance routine,’ said executive producer Simon Cowell. ‘I’m no theologian but I’m pretty sure it’s what Jesus would have wanted.’

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2012
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‘I got too Simon Cowell,’ admits cocky rooster

After years of strutting about with his chest puffed out and wearing a ridiculous crest on his head, a bantam cock has confessed to acting ‘a bit too much like Simon Cowell.’ In a cagey interview with Fox News, Bertram (3) admitted ruffling a few feathers after assuming he was entitled to the No. 1 spot in the pecking order.

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2012
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Government ‘will support’ removal of degrading ego implants

implants offered instant boost followed by long slow declineNew evidence shows that millions of ego implants inserted into the heads of celebrities and children in recent decades may be faulty and should be removed.

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Posted: Jan 7th, 2012
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