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Posts Tagged ‘Sistine Chapel’

Infallibility ‘more of a curse than a blessing’, says Pope

‘The Cardinals just nod indulgently and agree with every word I say. It’s infuriating.’

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2013
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Black smoke from Sistine Chapel suggests cardinals smoking ‘some really strong shit’

chill-out organ music playing in the backgroundPractised observers of the papal conclave, which got underway in Rome yesterday, have described the first black smoke to emerge from the Sistine Chapel chimney as ‘thick, potent, and smelling suspiciously of weed’.

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Posted: Mar 12th, 2013
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Queen and Martin McGuinness handshake destined for Sistine Chapel 

Some art historians are predicting that the iconic Michelangelo image will soon be eclipsed by the Queen-McGuinness handshake.

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Posted: Jun 28th, 2012
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Almighty to set the record straight over notorious ‘Hand of God’ picture

hand of godThe Supreme Being says that he wants to set the record straight once and for all over His infamous appearance in Michelangelo’s picture ‘The Creation of Adam’. The flamboyant, but controversial Deity is said to be unhappy with how the fresco, one of the world’s most recognisable works of art, depicts Him.

‘For a start,’ says The Almighty, ‘I’m shown as an elderly bearded man wrapped in a swirling cloak. Whereas anyone who knows me, knows I’m an attractive young blonde woman in her mid-twenties, like Scarlett Johansson but less retarded looking. ‘I don’t want to appear vain or anything, but for some reason the old codger image has sort of stuck and now everyone thinks I look like an ageing Vangelis.’

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Posted: Jun 27th, 2010
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