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Posts Tagged ‘sky news’

West Midlands butterfly denies causing hurricane

life's been chaotic since revelations emergedA butterfly from the Black Country has angrily denied being the cause of Hurricane Gonzalo, the tail end of which battered much of the UK this week. This all came after meteorologists, using cutting edge computer modelling, traced the origins of the hurricane back to the single flap of a butterfly’s wings three weeks last Tuesday in a field outside Walsall.

‘It was mental,’ said Red Admiral Roger Bould. ‘I was just fluttering about, as you do, when these boffins turn up and say that I set off a chain of events that caused devastation from Bermuda to Grimsby. Next thing I know, Sky News are reversing their outside broadcast lorries into the field and I’m being accused of everything from hurricanes and typhoons to the next James Blunt album. What am I meant to do, sit watching Channel 4 racing all afternoon and not flapping my wings just in case things go abdomen-up in Australia?’

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Posted: Oct 22nd, 2014
More from UK News



Sky News latest: missing vanished jet ‘possibly hijacked by Dr Evil’

Flight MH370 could have been cloaked in an invisibility shield and forced to land in a secret location using a traction beam by Austin Powers’ arch enemy Dr Evil to participate in an as-yet-undisclosed devious plan to extort a trillion dollars from China, according to the latest report from Sky News.

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Rumours that BBC may launch Wild and Pointless Speculation Channel

Speculation is rife that the BBC may create a new rolling conjecture channel that gathers together experts in every subject, places them all in one room and forces them to argue endlessly about what will happen next.

The new channel is likely to be based in London, or perhaps Salford, or Swansea, or maybe somewhere else entirely, with an estimated cost of tens of millions, or more, or possibly less. Experts remain divided on the value of a channel dedicated entirely to idle speculation. ‘There is already far too much empty and useless conjecture based on nothing more than personal opinion,’ said one.

‘No there isn’t,’ said another.

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2013
More from UK News



Cache of flint weapons ‘stashed by gangs for future riots’ claims Sky reporter

A recently unearthed hoard of prehistoric flint arrow heads and axes had been secretly stored by a criminal gang of youths in anticipation of further rioting in the nation’s capital, Sky News correspondent Tom Parmenter has claimed.

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Posted: Sep 7th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Rupert Murdoch launches subscription-only dreams app, The Nightly

Dream+ system will pause everything if you need to get up for a wee‘Premier league’ dreams include running through treacle as you try to flee from a sinister, all-powerful media presence

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Posted: Feb 6th, 2011
More from Arts/Entertainment