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Posts Tagged ‘smoking’

America’s smokers mourn last man to make smoking cool

too cool‘The last guy capable of making smoking appear cool, attractive and generally badass.’

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2014
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MP warns against danger of children downloading e-cigarettes from internet

‘I’ve even heard of one 10-year-old who was rushed to A&E with ten megabytes of e-nicotine in his system.’

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Posted: Jun 16th, 2014
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Lung cancer still looks ‘way cool’, say scientists

exclusive club, but always open to new membersScientists and ‘guys with leather jackets’ have hailed the number of smokers across the world reaching the one billion mark as a ringing endorsement of nicotine, pulmonary disease, Dot Cotton and everyone who has appeared in a French film ever.

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2014
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England players to receive win bonus of 40 Benson & Hedges

England’s highly paid international smokers are set to pocket 40 free ciggies if they can overcome the minnows of Montenegro later today. Manager Roy Hodgson gave the go ahead for the controversial bonus despite Joe Hart blaming his recent dip in form on passive smoking in the England dressing room.

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Posted: Oct 11th, 2013
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Man disappointed as fag packet contains no tumour

‘Imagine my disappointment at finding 20 cigarettes in place of the moist tumour I’d seen advertised on TV,’ said customer Matthew Arlington.

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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2013
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