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Posts Tagged ‘smoking’

‘Time’ revealed to be nation’s biggest killer

‘People just don’t understand they are far more likely to be killed by time than by any other cause. We all worry about smoking, drinking, exploding, or even getting run over, but the statistics show that most of us will turn into dribbling, incontinent old farts.’

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2010
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Smokers banned from naming or pointing at favourite brand

‘From now on smokers will have to perform an elaborate round of charades to express their desire to purchase a packet of cigarettes’

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Posted: Jun 4th, 2008
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McDonalds launches ‘Fat Patches’ for lazy eaters

‘All the saturated fat, none of the chewing’

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2008
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