Middle-class foodies who insist on sharing via social media every carefully concocted plate of smugness they’ve ever cooked and eaten must now add a picture of the ‘evacuation’ that follows.
Posted: Oct 12th, 2012
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‘When he asked me what I thought of our boss, I was honest in my answer. But I didn’t expect him to shout across the office “Retweet Sue: our boss is a bit of a c**t”.’
Posted: Jul 13th, 2012
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As its share value continued to plummet towards zero in its first week of trading, social media giant Facebook has seen off a major revolt by thousands of furious shareholders by issuing a series of heartwarming and whimsical posts featuring kittens and other adorable internet memes.
Shares in the company were initially made available at $39 each last week. But they plummeted to barely $35 within hours of trading, as new shareholders logged onto Facebook for the first time. ‘I couldn’t believe it. It was just a bunch of solipsistic ramblings and inane platitudes being ascribed to the Dalai Lama,’ bemoaned first-time investor Alex Joseph. ‘All for $39 a pop. Thank you very much Mark fuckin’ Zuckerberg.’
Posted: May 29th, 2012
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‘By comparing profile information, smiley face usage and posts about their horoscope, we can tell you which people you might as well cut dead now.’
Posted: Dec 13th, 2011
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People with too much wisdom and experience could find themselves redundant in Digital Britain’s new knowledge economy. ‘In the Internet age, when wisdom is just a mouse click away, there’s little demand for people who had to spend their whole lives learning by experience,’ said Gino Spencer, chief evangelist of Zeitgeist Social Media.
Posted: Aug 19th, 2011
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