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Posts Tagged ‘social media’

UK ‘revenge porn’ threat if Scotland walks

In a last desperate ploy to save its marriage, the UK has posted a veiled threat on Facebook to publish ‘candid pictures’ of Scotland, unless they pull back from separation. The pictures, said to feature the feisty northern lass in various stages of undress, were taken several years ago when the union was a ‘happy affair’.

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2014
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Vengeful kids upload pictures of adults returning to work after holidays ‘looking like sh*t’

Facebook is experiencing a major surge in photo uploads from children this week, appearing to show their tired and weary parents returning to work ‘looking like sh*t’ after their summer holidays.

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2014
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New English GCSE to require all answers to be less than 140-characters

Efforts to modernise the dated GCSE English syllabus have been announced by the Department for Education today. All GCSE English answers will be required to adhere to the 140-character limit to prepare students for a future in social media.

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2014
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Twenty-minute Facebook outage leaves millions of dinners unphotographed

A global panic was triggered on Friday evening after a twenty-minute Facebook outage left millions of users unable to upload sepia-toned pictures of what they were having for tea. The downtime, which is the second the network has experienced in as many months, also left many unable to tag themselves in the airport, share even more photos of their dogs, or tell people that they’re waiting for a BT engineer to arrive.

42-year-old Sandra Hough from Birmingham, who religiously shares a photo of a bottle of Summer Fruits Kopparberg with the telly in the background on a Friday, was also left frustrated. ‘This is the one time of the week I get a few hours to relax and take several photos of my drink, but it’s totally meaningless if I’m unable to show the whole f***ing world. I haven’t spoken to these people for decades, but it’s imperative that they know when I’m trying to relax with an artificially flavoured cider’.

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Posted: Aug 3rd, 2014
More from UK News



Journalists defend right to spout shit with ‘taped-up arsehole selfie’ campaign

Fiona?Hundreds of television journalists have taken photographs of themselves with bands of sticky tape fixed to their anuses.

The images form part of a campaign aimed at telling the world the relentless stream of crap known as ‘rolling news’ must never be stemmed by a return to more traditional journalistic values, such as proportion and relevance.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2014
More from UK News