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Posts Tagged ‘Somali pirates’

Somali pirates blame ‘Health and Safety gone mad’ for downturn

Pirates operating off the coast of Somalia have blamed ‘overregulation’ and an over-zealous attitude to enforcement of Health and Safety rules for their recent lack of success.

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Posted: Jan 27th, 2012
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Britain’s high-altitude pubs braced for influx of winter lock-in hopefuls

drinkers expecting free tickets to see Man Utd when they finally emerge from their ordealAs cold fronts move in and more snow and sub-zero temperatures are forecast, Britain’s elevated pubs and inns brace themselves for another influx – that of hundreds of men hoping to get snowed in for days on end with nothing to do but play dominos and get drunk.

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Posted: Dec 17th, 2010
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HMS Victory to replace Trident and Ark Royal

HMS Victory, Nelson’s flagship at the Battle of Trafalgar, is to be brought back into service as a replacement for Trident and the Ark Royal.

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Posted: Oct 26th, 2010
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‘Flagship’ school hijacked by pirates

St Mary’s Collegiate, the flagship Academy School which opened in Wolverhampton in September, has reportedly been seized by Somali pirates and is en route to the gulf of Aden.

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Posted: Oct 6th, 2010
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Somali pirates to wear more traditional outfits

parrot 'de rigeur, darling'Pirates off the coast of Somalia have been undergoing a radical re-branding exercise in a bid to help increase public sympathy with their cause. Henceforth cargo ships risking the dangerous waters off the horn of Africa will have to look out for Somalis wearing eighteenth-century frock coats, eye patches and black hats featuring the distinctive ‘skull and crossbones’ logo. A spokesman for the new-look Somali privateers explained the shift to more traditional pirate attire; ‘Aha, Jim lad, thar be pieces of eight in that there Spanish galleon!’, after which the ‘pieces of eight’ point was re-iterated several times by the green parrots on his left shoulder.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2009
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