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Posts Tagged ‘space’

NASA admits theory of infinite space may be the result of leaving lens cap on

‘It appears we may have got it all wrong’ a NASA spokesman admitted today during a hastily arranged press conference at The Kennedy Space Centre, Houston. ‘It has come to our attention that set procedures were not followed during the taking of the original pictures of space but hey, we’ve all made that mistake. That sunset summer holiday snap in Crete, the graduation hand shake, a child’s first steps, those never to be repeated moments captured instead with a deep, infinite blackness, it’s easily done’.

This will cause further embarrassment for NASA as it comes just weeks after the disclosure that the recently captured supernova in Ursa Minor was actually the photographer’s thumb creeping into the frame.
NASA has been working hard to develop its technology to cope with the demands of the space age. ‘It can be tricky taking photos in space’ said astronaut Eugene A. Cernan. ‘Those big gloves make pressing the button really difficult. You try setting the timer and running back into position wearing those cumbersome space suits; it’s harder than you might think.’

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Posted: Nov 4th, 2015
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NASA space probe finds evidence of ‘more bloody stars’

even the spacecraft's had enoughNASA today announced an end to all space exploration after the latest set of photographs taken by its Voyager 1 spacecraft, currently exploring the Kuiper Belt on the very edge of the solar system, showed nothing but a bunch of stars that look virtually indistinguishable from those viewed from Earth.

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2014
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NASA to end 49-year-ban on clowns in space

clowns' discoveries of water in space by the bucket load turned out to be scraps of paperThe US national space agency today announced the long-expected reversal of their previous ban on clowns being allowed on manned space missions. Although it was relaxed in 1995 to a ‘Don’t Laugh, Don’t Tell’ policy, it still placed heavy restrictions on overt tomfoolery.

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Posted: Sep 20th, 2014
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EU to limit the ‘vast emptiness of space’ by 2017

Buoyed by recent success in banning sale or import of all useful vacuum cleaners from September 2014, EU leaders are setting their sights higher from 2017.

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Posted: Aug 29th, 2014
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Universal Credit to be exported to Mars

Ian Duncan Smith has unveiled plans to make the benefits system truly ‘universal’ by exporting it to Mars. The Department of Work and Pensions has been in secret talks with Imperial College London and NASA to launch a spacecraft, to be called the Debacle, next summer

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Posted: Dec 11th, 2013
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