‘Recent events have shown that the public are more interested in the future Prime Minister’s grasp of English orthography than whether he has any viable policies or leadership skills’ Sky’s political correspondent explained.

The party leaders are now thought to be practising furiously in preparation for the event, with Gordon Brown rumoured to be testing himself on the Speak & Spell toy used to entertain President Bush on state visits and David Cameron trying to get to grips with three words he has had trouble with – Lisbon, treaty and referendum.

TheMuppetFarmer