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Posts Tagged ‘spoof news satire’

Rugby to end ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ and admit heterosexuals

rugger buggersThe International Rugby Board has finally agreed to lift the policy which has sought to bar openly-heterosexual players from the game.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2014
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NASA to end 49-year-ban on clowns in space

clowns' discoveries of water in space by the bucket load turned out to be scraps of paperThe US national space agency today announced the long-expected reversal of their previous ban on clowns being allowed on manned space missions. Although it was relaxed in 1995 to a ‘Don’t Laugh, Don’t Tell’ policy, it still placed heavy restrictions on overt tomfoolery.

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Posted: Sep 20th, 2014
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iPhone user has ‘out-of-phone experience’ in-between operating systems

upgrade includes new app which occasionally switches the bloody phone off‘Normally I just stare at a wall from two-inches away with a blank expression in-between operating systems, but this time something different happened’

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2014
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Controversy as Eric Pickles awarded planning consent for fourth chin

‘The decision to allow a fourth chin is an environmental disaster’ said Greenpeace activist Fenton Barnes. ‘The expansion in the capacity of Eric Pickles will only lead to a large increase in greenhouse gas emissions, specifically methane’.

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Posted: Sep 7th, 2014
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New tech allows ‘blood sucking bankers’ to upgrade from metaphor to fact

Barclays’ business customers will now be able to log on by scanning the unique pattern of their veins; or as one banker described it as ‘…the fast track to their life essence’. Slumbering in their coffins by day, Barclays’ employees will now visit savers in their homes at twilight but only if the customer has signed a waver ‘inviting them in’, ‘banning the use of garlic’ and to avoid all reference to ‘PPIs’.

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Posted: Sep 6th, 2014
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