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Posts Tagged ‘spoof news satire’

iPhone 7 warns that Natural Intelligence could be a threat to shiny technology

A prototype iPhone 7 has texted a warning that Natural Intelligence (NI) might be a threat to future generations of shiny gadgets. ‘It’s a real issue; at some point naturally intelligent people might realise that the gadget they bought last year actually does far more than they need, so why buy a new one?’

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2014
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Islamic State ‘disappointed at UK fighters ability to wash dishes’

‘They’re lazy, want to stay in bed all day playing Call of Duty on their XBox consoles,’ he told reporters, ‘and what’s worse is that some of these twats have knocked me off the leader board,’ he added.

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2014
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Man backs down in Internet argument

stupid idiot's made the internet unworkableA man has stunned the world of social media by recanting his formally ‘bulletproof’ assertions made on the Internet, it can be revealed.

Forum user ‘Conspiri_Sim0n’, 37 , from ‘Hobbiton on the Shire’ said that he wished to withdraw comments 4 thru 317 from a discussion thread below a YouTube video on Tuesday, in a move thought to be the first of its kind since the demise of Netscape Navigator. ‘Furthermore I would like to apologise to the concerned user, and concede that after careful consideration that I find her points plausible and moreover, likely correct in respect of the dispute to which we were party to’ he went on, ‘Her logical rebuttal of my reactionary rhetoric has largely invalidated my position.’

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Posted: Dec 3rd, 2014
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Blair Christmas card used at Guantanamo to frighten terrorists

Tony Blair has revealed that his 2014 Christmas Card photo was originally intended as part of a Psy Ops campaign to frighten jihadists at Guantanamo Bay.

‘Look, if we want win the war on terror, we have to be prepared to use extreme tactics’, he told reporters. ‘Psychologists have been using pictures of Cherie in experiments for years, so they’d already obtained approval from their ethics committees.

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Posted: Dec 3rd, 2014
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Stephen Hawking warns that Artificial Intelligence could end Angry Birds

Prof Stephen Hawking, one of Britain’s pre-eminent scientists, has said that efforts to create thinking machines pose a threat to the very existence of mindless computer games such as Angry Birds. He explained, ‘The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of stupid people being able to waste their time on stupid wastes of time.’

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Posted: Dec 3rd, 2014
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