Jedward ‘may have been switched at birth’
The brothers themselves were said to be speechless at the news, albeit briefly. ‘It’s amazing’ shouted John, or possibly Edward.
Posted: Feb 10th, 2012
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Wills and Kate to marry in Big Fat Gypsy Wedding
‘They’ve decided to go full gypo,’ said the Duke of Edinburgh in language which has drawn criticism from the traveller community.
Posted: Feb 10th, 2012
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Abu Qatada to improve public image with ‘I’m A Celebrity’ appearance
Soon-to-be-released terror suspect Abu Qatada has been advised by his new PR agent Max Clifford to start appearing on as many celebrity shows as he can in an attempt to improve his poor public image.
‘Abs, as he wants to be known from now on, has had a terrible time from the press over the last few years,’ explained Clifford. ‘The public want to deport him, but that’s just because they don’t know the real Abs. He’s a lovely lad really, heart of gold. What he wants to do is bare his soul on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories (although personally I’d rather be tortured in a prison cell in Jordan than talk to Piers Morgan) then try to move on. If Kerry Katona can get a second chance, surely anyone can.’
Wanted: Experienced football manager for untenable position
Managing a team of arrogant millionaires, with egos even bigger than their houses, you will be expected to deliver outstanding results against superior opposition.
Posted: Feb 9th, 2012
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Polo club attracts poor people by letting them use pantomime horses
‘From my understanding,’ said the club’s president, Jonathan Stares-Hune, ‘while poor people may not always have horses, they do sometimes have as many as two friends who could dress up as a horse and be ridden around a field.’
Posted: Feb 8th, 2012
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