NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘spoof news’

Premier League to outsource match production to India

‘The move will mean we will be able to hold season ticket prices,’ said a spokesman. ‘Admittedly fans will have to travel to the sub-continent to actually watch the matches, but the brands will be the same and that is what really matters.’

Read more >

Posted: Oct 24th, 2014
More from News In Brief



‘Walking with humans’ now number one thing-to-do-before-you-die for dolphins

next item: don't get caught in tuna netThe practice has been hailed as one of the most therapeutic and life-affirming experiences the world can offer a sea mammal

Read more >

Posted: Oct 24th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Ebola to take on MRSA in world title showdown

It’s the bout everyone’s been waiting for: Ebola ‘The Kidney Musher’ versus Britain’s very own home-grown bacterium, MRSA ‘The Superbug’. The two contenders are to meet in 16 days’ time at Mid Staffordshire Hospital or whatever it’s called by then, to fight for the undisputed title of the world’s baddest disease. And, predictably, the macho boasting has begun already.

‘Ebola’s going down,’ said MRSA’s promoter Mickey ‘The Regional Health Contractor’ Fillery. ‘The NHS won’t suit it. By the time we’ve finished with it, Ebola won’t even know what its host species is.’ However, Ebola said that it had ‘plenty of ways of getting inside your defences. You’re going to need more than a doctor after what Ebola does to you, people of Britain’.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 23rd, 2014
More from Health



Ryan Air Force contract ‘a qualified success’

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has hailed the outsourcing of Britain’s air defence to Ryanair as generally successful, because the government no longer has to provide uniforms. Some had criticised the Ryan Air Force’s use of Airbus aircraft for interceptor roles as they can carry more crew, at the usual mark-up.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 23rd, 2014
More from News In Brief



MythBusters investigate whether masturbation can make you go blind

Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman, creators of the science entertainment TV show MythBusters, have responded to repeated criticism that they are just overgrown kids playing with toys by investigating more grown-up topics, starting with the sticky topic of whether onanism affects eyesight.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 23rd, 2014
More from News In Brief