NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘spoof news’

Scotland votes in favour of merger of Brian Coxes

The new single Cox will play British heavies in middlebrow American action movies, grin at how wonderful science can be and exercise increased tax raising powers, sometimes simultaneously.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 30th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Northamptonshire named Britain’s first Area of Outstanding General Mediocrity

just passing throughIt was the award a few wanted but only one could have. In the end, it was disappointment for Buckinghamshire, the borough of Chorley and everywhere within a five-mile radius of Motherwell as Northamptonshire won the nomination as the UK’s first Area of Outstanding All-Round Mediocrity (AOGM).

‘Neither quite vile enough for it to be funny, nor possessed of anything that might induce visitors to stay longer than it takes to use a toilet, this most nondescript of counties was a natural choice,’ said Lord Melvyn Bragg, chairman of the judging panel. ‘Its highest point is a mundane 738 feet. Its county flower is the cowslip. Even when Corby ceased to be the largest town in Britain without a railway station in 2009, Irthlingborough succeeded to the title. I could go on, but, you know, life’s too short, isn’t it?’

Read more >

Posted: Oct 29th, 2014
More from UK News



Goths looking forward to fantastic Halloween night at ordinary dress party

nice to express yourself once in a while‘Without all the black and white make-up and piercings it was impossible to recognise anyone.’

Read more >

Posted: Oct 29th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Parental advice awarded heritage status

'Don't say you weren't warned'Dubious claims by parents are to be preserved for the nation before they disappear completely, the Heritage Minister announced today.

‘Surely nobody really believes you’ll catch an airborne virus by leaving the house with wet hair,’ pointed out the minister, ‘or that masturbating turns you blind,’ he added in an interview for Mumsnet. ‘But it’s clear that British parenting myths have been proven to be the first demonstrable memes in any modern language and as such should be protected in law.’

Read more >

Posted: Oct 28th, 2014
More from Lifestyle



UK troops leave Afghanistan never to return, probably

The union flag was lowered at Camp Bastion and ceremoniously packed away, until it is required to be raised again at Camp Bastion by the next US President.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 28th, 2014
More from News In Brief