NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘spoof news’

Method actor kills man during crime re-enactment

Calls are growing for the police to abandon the use of Method actors in crime re-enactments after a Cambridge man was killed in an identical murder that occurred on the same spot one week earlier.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 31st, 2014
More from From The Archives



Man loses identity after failing bank security check

Gavin Ames from Maidenhead was left distraught yesterday after a routine call to his bank to set up a new direct debit, left him a bleak future with no name and no money. When asked to answer three security questions by the NatWest, Gavin froze and went blank.

Gavin, or alleged Gavin, managed to answer the first two questions – his middle name and mother’s maiden name – but when asked to remember the amount of his last cash withdrawal, he panicked. ‘I said forty pounds’ said Gavin, ‘but then remembered I’d later taken out another twenty at Tesco to buy some lunch. By then it was too late, the guy had entered my answer into the system. He told me that I’d failed to prove who I am and that he could no longer help me. I pleaded with him to ask me more questions, but he said it wasn’t possible, I’d been deleted, before asking me if there was anything else he could do for me today.’ Gavin’s access to his bank account was locked, and he can no longer access his own money.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 30th, 2014
More from Business



Silvio Berlusconi off to Iceland after hearing about Bardarbunga action

The frozen-faced former Prime Minister of Italy, Silvio Berlusconi, jetted in to Reykjavik late last night in a state of high excitement expecting a bout of sexual gymnastics for the elderly.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 30th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Love doctors ‘working longer hours than ever’

Oooh! Carry on MatronThe NHS has come under fire after a Panorama programme showed that it is ‘systematically failing’ lovesick Britons by cutting the number of ‘leurve’ doctors trained to deliver emotional and erotic first aid.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 30th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Reality TV needs to be more inclusive for Eton & Oxbridge graduates

A Social Mobility Commission study has discovered that those who really run the UK are woefully under-represented on the only thing that matters to the British public – Talent Shows. As a new season of the X Factor begins on Saturday, Simon Cowell has been forced to admit that very few senior diplomats, civil servants or ‘people like Steve Brookstein’ will be appearing on the programme.

While small elites, educated at independent schools, still dominate the business and political world, they are being excluded from trying to pronounce Cheryl Cole’s new surname. A Child Poverty spokeswoman said: ‘An infant born to millionaire parents, regardless of ability, can expect to run a major corporation or political party but they will never get the chance to meet Ant & Dec. This is wrong. It’s just wrong. Social mobility should be for everyone, not just the Shanes and Chers of the world.’

Read more >

Posted: Aug 29th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment