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Posts Tagged ‘spoof news’

Parental advice awarded heritage status

'Don't say you weren't warned'Dubious claims by parents are to be preserved for the nation before they disappear completely, the Heritage Minister announced today.

‘Surely nobody really believes you’ll catch an airborne virus by leaving the house with wet hair,’ pointed out the minister, ‘or that masturbating turns you blind,’ he added in an interview for Mumsnet. ‘But it’s clear that British parenting myths have been proven to be the first demonstrable memes in any modern language and as such should be protected in law.’

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Posted: Oct 28th, 2014
More from Lifestyle



UK troops leave Afghanistan never to return, probably

The union flag was lowered at Camp Bastion and ceremoniously packed away, until it is required to be raised again at Camp Bastion by the next US President.

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Posted: Oct 28th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Salad dressing marketeer set to withdraw from Hellmans

A specialist food marketeer has pulled out of Hellmans, ten years to the day after arriving to provide practical and strategic support for the company and its staff.

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Posted: Oct 28th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Ice cube tray manufacturer wins award for irretrievable ice cubes

ice buggery bastards, more likeFor over 30 years, ice cube tray manufacturers have been engaged in a race to develop a container from which frozen water can never be extracted. Today UK company Pro-Plastic has been recognised for making the first container from which ice cubes cannot be retrieved, irrespective of the cunning and skill of the users.

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Posted: Oct 27th, 2014
More from Science/Technology



Nation stunned at absence of sexual allegations against glam rocker

Four days after the death of Alvin Stardust, the world of entertainment remains in shock at the sheer lack of allegations of sexual misconduct to emerge against the glam rock singer.

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Posted: Oct 27th, 2014
More from News In Brief