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Posts Tagged ‘spoof news’

God does not believe in David Cameron

God has declared that He doesn’t believe in the existence of David Cameron, because He has personally seen no evidence of the party leader or his work, although He respects people comforted by a belief in Cameron

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Posted: Apr 22nd, 2014
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Middle East Conflict resolved by a group hug

‘It’s all so silly really when you think about it. It’s only religion, history and land; what’s to fall out about?’

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Posted: Apr 22nd, 2014
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Booker Prize winner gives it all up for career in middle management

artistic perception of human frailties could come in really handyMulti-award winning novelist and screenwriter Kieran Henderson, who last year became the first author to win an Oscar for writing the screenplay to his own Booker-winning novel, has shocked the literary establishment by announcing that he is to put his pen away in order to create spreadsheets and do appraisals for people he hates.

Henderson is said to have worked on his writing for sixteen hours a day for nearly three decades before attaining his widely acknowledged status as the outstanding British writer of his generation. Though puzzling to many, Henderson has revealed that his decision to give up the day job for a day job was inspired by the plethora of interactive television talent shows.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2014
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Grim Reaper traumatised by encounter with David Moyes

‘It was meant to be a supportive gesture,’ said the Reaper. ‘I held the blade close to his face simply to remind him what silverware looked like. But it backfired spectacularly when I smelled the stench of decay.’

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2014
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Garden snail travels record 31.8 miles by air

Research on tagged snails by the University of Coventry’s Dr Brian Harrison has uncovered one snail was discovered near some lettuces and tossed over the fence by Mrs Brown into Mrs Pearce’s garden at number 38. This process appears to have been repeated some 2,000 times until the snail finally came to rest in a school field in Dudley.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2014
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