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Posts Tagged ‘spoof news’

Harvard study confirms ‘Blowin’ in the wind’ is totally ineffective

D'uh, idiot wind!A Harvard University study has challenged the mythical status of Bob Dylan by questioning the singer-songwriter’s key assertion that there are many situations in life where ‘the answer is blowin in the wind’. This claim had never been formally tested, but thanks to a definitive final year Media Studies project at Harvard, spearheaded by Emeritus Professor Hyaz Akite, the theory may be finally laid to rest.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2015
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Green Party’s Natalie Bennett offers to mediate over Ukraine

Joking that she had recently been fighting ‘her own cold-war’ she has promised to create jobs, housing and economic stability for both countries with the addition of 17 million new jobs and luxury housing for those made homeless by the conflict.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2015
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Superman to ditch cape amid health & safety concerns

‘After watching Madonna at the Brits the last thing I need is for my enemies to know that I have such a fundamental weakness’ Superman told the Daily Planet.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2015
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David Tredinnick MP: ‘The NHS can be rescued by rubbing a big crystal on it’

cures cancer as well, apparentlyTory MP and crystal skull-lover David Tredinnick set out his vision today for the future of the NHS. These reforms will include the pre-emptive treatment of all individuals born under the sign of Cancer with aggressive chemotherapy and Reiki massage. ‘Every child born between the dates June 22nd –July 22nd will be administered potent chemotherapeutic agents from the age of six onwards’, announced Mr Tredinnick. “We also know that these individuals are not only at risk of developing malignant disease, but that they are also prone to contracting pubic crabs, so we will advise these individuals to pair up with Virgos, who almost never develop this condition’.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2015
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Elderly woman has a fall

In front of an audience of millions, a frail 56 year old woman collapsed onto a nubile dancer – impaling him on a pair of spiked breasts. While the O2 crowd were shocked to see the young dancer bleed to death, the elderly Madonna Louise Ciccone survived the incident thanks the elasticity of a body made solely from silicone, collagen and an inflated ego.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2015
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