NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘spoof news’

Grim Reaper traumatised by encounter with David Moyes

‘It was meant to be a supportive gesture,’ said the Reaper. ‘I held the blade close to his face simply to remind him what silverware looked like. But it backfired spectacularly when I smelled the stench of decay.’

Read more >

Posted: Apr 21st, 2014
More from News In Brief



Garden snail travels record 31.8 miles by air

Research on tagged snails by the University of Coventry’s Dr Brian Harrison has uncovered one snail was discovered near some lettuces and tossed over the fence by Mrs Brown into Mrs Pearce’s garden at number 38. This process appears to have been repeated some 2,000 times until the snail finally came to rest in a school field in Dudley.

Read more >

Posted: Apr 21st, 2014
More from News In Brief



Stations of the Cross closed – replacement buses brought in

Stations 6 and 7 of the Cross, currently closed for refurbishment, will not be ready for use this Easter due to unforeseen problems with sub-contractors.

Read more >

Posted: Apr 21st, 2014
More from From The Archives



Berlusconi doing community service inseminating pandas

Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who was recently sentenced to a year’s community service for tax fraud, has found work inseminating a giant panda at Edinburgh zoo, following failed attempts to mate her with a male panda. The zoo and the 77-year-old billionaire’s lawyers said that they were satisfied that the ruling was a win-win, allowing him to remain both politically and sexually active.

‘Tian Tian’s hormone levels had been falling drastically and at first she spurned his advances, but this didn’t deter Mr Berlusconi in the least,’ said Charles Osborne, director of breeding at Edinburgh. ‘He used all his experience and charm to woo her successfully and, fingers crossed, we hope to be able to announce shortly that she is expecting, er, something.’

Read more >

Posted: Apr 20th, 2014
More from World News



Jellyfish now UKs favourite animal says survey

The common jellyfish is now Britain’s favourite pet according to research carried out yesterday.

The creature moved from 1,5000,000th most popular creature in the UK right up to the coveted No1 spot, replacing kittens, puppies and meerkats as the nation’s favourite.

Read more >

Posted: Apr 20th, 2014
More from News In Brief