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Posts Tagged ‘spoof news’

Cult of Cthulhu surprised by progress of ice summoning ritual

The ‘Doomsday cult’ worshiping the Elder God Cthulhu have expressed their surprise and delight that so many are participating in their attempt to release their master from his watery prison.

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2014
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Gunman firing in the air finally figures out baffling fatalities

thought Allah was catching themRebel gunman Ahmed, 23, of Tripoli, claims to have made a significant breakthrough in identifying the cause of a series of mysterious deaths caused by people being hit in the top of the head by bullets falling from the sky.

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2014
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Secret Service boss sacked for spending too much time looking out of window

Is it a sacking, or a double-bluff, counter bluff, triple bluff? Nope. He's actually gone.A senior manager at MI6 has been sacked for spending the majority of his working day standing looking out of the window in a wistful manner. The man known only as ‘B’ is believed to have angered security chiefs by allowing vast amounts of important paperwork and emails to build up while the air in his office hung heavy with a vague feeling of regret and loss.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2014
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Nigel Farage’s selection in jeopardy due to an allergy to real ale‏

UKIP members in South Thanet have been thrown into disarray by the unexpected hypersensitivity to unpasteurised beer of their frontrunner for the 2015 general election. Having quaffed over 20,000 pints on the election trail to appear as an ‘everyman’ to voters, Mr. Farage has now become riddled with hives every time he swallows a mouthful of Bishop’s Cock.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2014
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IS look to Satchi & Satchi for PR

Mohammed Ahmad, head of Public Relations for Islamic State has admitted that his department isn’t performing as well as he expected. ‘I felt the timing of the name change from ISIS to IS was a mistake, plus I was gutted when my favoured choice of rebranding name, Consignia, wasn’t available’ he said.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2014
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