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Posts Tagged ‘spoof news’

Aliens discovered on Earth, being educated at Eton

Maths professor Alan Daley has worked out the true cause of crop circles after his son started attending a minor public school in Kent and he began to delve into the complex maths of how public schools structure their fees.

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2014
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Outrage as unholy strain of myxomatosis introduced into Meerkovo

other ways of getting rid of them on 'comparethecull.com'Animal rights activists have reacted in horror after the exponential rise in meerkat numbers throughout Europe forced Russian authorities to introduce a genetically modified strain of the myxomatosis virus into the village of Meerkovo. Meerkat numbers have grown massively in the last couple of years, from a solitary ‘uber-meerkat’ to a ‘plague of Biblical proportions’, according to Yuri Rochenko, head of the Moscow State Pest Control Authority.

‘What started off as one meerkat on a TV advert has rapidly increased to a whole village full of them and they’re now spreading to other European countries, infiltrating nation states by being boxed up and sold with insurance policies. There is an urgent need to keep these vermin down in a humane way that does not invalidate our no-claims bonuses.’

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2014
More from World News



DLT grope threat linked to skirt length and turning up to work

BBC executives have discovered that there is a direct correlation between hemline and the groping machinations of their former employee. In fact, scientists are convinced that the infamous Unwelcome DLT Syndrome is also caused by chest size, gender and being in the vicinity of a hairy octopus.

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Challenging day for Dr Christian as his mum appears on Embarrassing Bodies

Diagnosis: Run Away!!!‘He just clammed up and looked very strange as soon as I started explaining about my thick smelly discharge.’

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2014
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OED grants ‘working from home’ full ironic status

Soooo busy!In a move welcomed by office workers everywhere, the Oxford English Dictionary has today granted full ironic status to the expression ‘working from home’. This status will initially apply to Fridays only, but depending on its success may in due course be rolled out across the entire working week.

Before this ground-breaking move, the traditional excuse given for a manager’s absence from the office on a Friday was required to be accompanied by a wiggling of the index and middle fingers of both hands, a raising of the eyebrows and an exaggerated pout. When used on the phone, the expression had to be said in a slow, emphasised way, preferably with a small pause beforehand and a clearing of the throat afterwards.

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Posted: Sep 26th, 2014
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