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Posts Tagged ‘spoof news’

Government urges shops to replace other shops in job creation bonanza

Employment Minister Esther McVey has called for Tesco to replace every Sainsburys store, Sainsburys to replace every Asda store and Asda to replace every Tesco store. ‘Whenever a massive shop opens, it creates hundreds of jobs’, she told reporters. ‘ I don’t really understand the maths – all these shops are doing is making it easier to buy stuff which was made in China. Nevertheless, apparently a new superstore equals job creation.

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Posted: Nov 17th, 2014
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Bored video ref admits he switched channels

England v South AfricaThe future of video refereeing was thrown into doubt last night after the fourth official admitted he had got bored and switched channels during the game.

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Posted: Nov 17th, 2014
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Waitrose to go door-to-door making people cry in ‘targeted’ Christmas campaign

This child is later shown being sent back down t'pitWaitrose have announced that they are eschewing the traditional TV Christmas ad campaign; instead, they have unveiled ‘(an) individually-tailored campaign of lachrymosity.’

‘We want to make everyone cry in the run up to Christmas, so they will buy shedloads of our overpriced comestibles,’ explained CEO Nat Wilderman, ‘but frankly, John Lewis and Sainsbury’s have already sewn up the market this year.’

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Posted: Nov 16th, 2014
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Rosetta sets sights on Kim Kardashian in next daring mission

The European Space Agency has confirmed plans to extend its successful comet mission by rerouting Rosetta to the rear end of MTV star and socialite, Kim Kardashian.

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Posted: Nov 16th, 2014
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Lost tribe found in Amazon warehouse

no-one knew they were there or how primitive were their living conditionsThey are known to walk great distances every night in their box hunts, the going is tough, and many do not survive.

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Posted: Nov 16th, 2014
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