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Posts Tagged ‘spoof news’

NATS ‘needs a life’ to reopen London airspace

NATS spokesman Michael Lovelace said: ‘Too many near misses and the programme locks you out. We either need 30,000 likes or one of the other NATS in Europe to send us a life. We’ve got our technicians updating Facebook and Twitter constantly in the hope we’ll reach the target by this evening.’

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Posted: Dec 15th, 2014
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Chaos as man uses 3D printer to make a 3D printer

When 52-year-old Andy Hargreaves decided to see if he could make a 3D printer using a 3D printer he had little idea of the chaos he would create through the development of an infinitely recursive 3D printer manufacturing loop which, if predictions are correct, will mean the world is overtaken by a proliferation of 3D printers by 2018.

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Posted: Dec 15th, 2014
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Drunk office workers ‘a real hit’ at corporate entertainers’ Xmas party

Entertainers delighted by Graham from Accounts puking in the boss's desk tidyAttendees entertained into the night by drunken office workers.

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Posted: Dec 15th, 2014
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‘Here comes the big aeroplane’ parents given all-clear to resume feeding

still concerns that Mr Choo-Choo could be affected by leavesYoung mothers across Southern England breathed a collective sigh of relief after Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt announced that so-called ‘Here comes the big aeroplane’ spoon-feeding techniques could safely resume. This followed the shutting down of the regional air traffic control system in Hampshire, which caused feeding-time havoc in high-chairs from Penzance to Potters Bar.

Whilst it is understood that pockets of middle-class ‘work from home’ mums in and around Twickenham and Richmond set up visual monitoring systems from their extended lofts in order to continue feeding, the vast majority suspended all feeding when Mumsnet failed to provide explicit advice on what to do next.

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2014
More from UK News



X-Factor panel to be replaced by actual judges

'You didn't own that song. Give it back.'In an effort to combat accusations of bias amongst the celebrity judging panel in the forthcoming high-profile final of the X-Factor, the current panel will be replaced by a more traditional panel of judges.

Taking the place of Louis Walsh will be Lord Chief Justice “Clockwork Duck” Thomas, a QC since 1984 and appointed a high court judge in 1996. Lord Thomas commented ‘It is an honour to be asked to preside over this presigious event, and I have treated to myself to a new gavel which I will use to stop any disruption. I may find the summing-up difficult as I am not a great singer, and may have to mime, but the audience, or as we call it, jury, will get the idea.’

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Posted: Dec 12th, 2014
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