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Party poppers to be banned at Abu Qatada’s leaving party
The Home Office has announced that party poppers and balloons will be banned at Abu Qatada’s forthcoming leaving party at Belmarsh Prison on Saturday night. [read...]
Tagged spoof
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Umlaut sues Emoji for copyright infringement
A spokesman for Umlauts explained: ‘My client has been squiggling over the International Phonetic Alphabet for over a thousand years. Quite frankly it’s insulting to see some gurning chancer telling us how to feel – when James Corden will do that for free’. [read...]
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Man admits to watching a single episode of Game of Thrones after all
Philip will now be made to walk naked through the market square as an angry mob shout ‘shame!’ [read...]
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EU diplomatic ‘shit list’ drawn up by the Tourism Board, say Kremlin
A Russian foreign ministry official has today contradicted reports that a list of ‘banned’ politicians was a result of EU sanctions against Russia. ‘Not at all. It is a simple attempt to support our gentrification process by excluding undesirables who are likely to detract from Russia’s reputation as a lovely place to visit and live.’ [read...]
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Vowels to strike in protest at txt spk
A, E, I, O and U, are tired of the exclusion policy, practised by millions, when engaged in the language of text speak. Comprising less than 20 per cent of the alphabet population they have become increasingly alarmed that their jobs are disappearing and intend to go on strike until the Equality Act 2010 recognises their minority status. [read...]