A Russian foreign ministry official has today contradicted reports that a list of ‘banned’ politicians was a result of EU sanctions against Russia. ‘Not at all. It is a simple attempt to support our gentrification process by excluding undesirables who are likely to detract from Russia’s reputation as a lovely place to visit and live.’ [read...]
A, E, I, O and U, are tired of the exclusion policy, practised by millions, when engaged in the language of text speak. Comprising less than 20 per cent of the alphabet population they have become increasingly alarmed that their jobs are disappearing and intend to go on strike until the Equality Act 2010 recognises their minority status. [read...]
The RAF’s only airworthy Lancaster bomber was effectively ‘shot down’ yesterday, in a prank played by the pilot of a German Messerschmitt 109 fighter aircraft. [read...]
“We shared a weird half-smile as I had flashbacks of inviting them to our cottage in Cornwall that we don’t have, before accidentally kissing her full on the lips at the end of the night.” [read...]
“I thought I’d start by introducing him to the basic concept of lying. So I told him a bomb was about to go off and we were all going to die.” [read...]
