NewsBiscuit

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Posts Tagged ‘spoof’

Israel shuns peace deal in favour of a good PR firm

Mr Happy Tank wants you to come out and playThe Israeli Knesset has rejected the Gaza peace proposal put forward by US Secretary of State, John Kerry, in favour of a modest 12-hour truce – purposely designed to be long enough for Israeli soldiers to get a good night’s sleep, identify new targets and reload their missiles. A spokesman for Prime Minister Netanyahu has made it clear that what is really needed is a ‘…tabulated program of action to earn public understanding and acceptance’ codenamed ‘Turd Polish’.

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Posted: Jul 27th, 2014
More from World News



America’s smokers mourn last man to make smoking cool

too cool‘The last guy capable of making smoking appear cool, attractive and generally badass.’

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Beach loses Blue Flag status following ‘blue flag eyesore’

Beach staff were told to lower the flag and hide it somewhere as the sight of it was an ‘eyesore at odds with the natural beauty’ of the bay. Council staff were said to be disappointed at the ruling, but hoped the move would lead to the beach being designated an EU ‘Flag Free Zone’, and be eligible to display the official pennants.

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Television news switched off in favour of barbecue

Something simply had to be doneBritish television viewers have decided to abandon their TV sets this weekend, thereby missing the important new stories of plane crashes, Gaza and the imminent outbreak of World War Three. Instead they are going to concentrate on getting the barbecue working and drinking Pimms in the back garden.

‘It seems like the right thing to do’ said Lily from Clapham, south London. ‘There are lots of people worrying about the state of the world right now, and I think the best contribution we can make is to have too much to drink on the patio and eat a lot of barbecued chicken wings. If we can get a bit of a sun tan at the same time then so much the better.’

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Posted: Jul 25th, 2014
More from UK News



Passport photos required to show ‘sex face’

The pissed-off face has been in use for over 20 years and hasn’t kept pace with technological advances.’

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Posted: Jul 25th, 2014
More from News In Brief