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Posts Tagged ‘spoof’

Facebook taxed £1 for each sincere comment

Today HM Revenue & Customs (HRMC) defended their decision to levy £4,327 from Facebook in 2014, based on the social network giant’s contribution to the ‘sum of human kindness’. HRMC also rejected calls to link Facebook’s corporation tax to their global profits of $701m, their share bonuses of £96,000 per UK employee or, the most accurate measurement of their worth, the number of sycophantic remarks on a member’s timeline.

One user complained: ‘If they had linked their tax bill to every time someone tried to stalk a friend, we’d all be millionaires…’

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Posted: Oct 13th, 2015
More from Business

Cameron ‘passed the port to the right’

New revelations about David Cameron’s student days claim that he ‘wantonly’ passed port in ‘an anticlockwise direction’.

An unnamed source, now a High Court Judge, described an occasion when Cameron allegedly attempted to fill his glass, despite being on the wrong side. ‘Naturally, I enquired whether he knew the Bishop of Norwich – this being the most direct way a gentleman may point out such a faux pas – but Cameron persisted in topping me up. With port I mean, not the other thing’.

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Posted: Sep 26th, 2015
More from Politics

Fisherman told Green Party membership now at sustainable levels

Following on from the news that North Sea cod is to return to the dinner table, the Marine Conservation Society (MCS) has declared that ‘tree-hugging beardy-weirdys’ are no longer endangered. Members of the public are now permitted to mock environmentalists without fear of reducing their numbers and are free to ‘fry them’ in ridicule, ‘batter’ them with abuse and smother them in the ‘ketchup of their scorn’.

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2015
More from Environment

White House talks hailed as success as Vatican agrees to halt nuclear programme

The deal will also see a continuation of God’s sponsorship of US foreign policy which will allow America to invade oil-rich countries in the name of democracy with God’s backing for another 30 years.

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2015
More from News In Brief

Extremist Corbyn’s vile hobby: collecting trade union memorabilia

The Labour Party sank to a new low today, and virtual civil war broke out on the opposition benches following revelations about the sick and depraved hobby of very, very, left-wing leader Jeremy Corbyn. The socialist demagogue who seized control of the Labour Party earlier this month following a so-called ‘landslide election’ now looks less electable than ever as it was revealed he liked to collect little enamel badges from various trades unions down the decades.

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2015
More from Politics