Right-wing sleeper ‘Jezzer’ Corbyn and left-wing sleeper Donald ‘Lenin’ Trump are to be exchanged on the Glienicke Bridge connecting Potsdam with Berlin, following intense diplomatic manoeuvres. ‘Corbyn is a war hero. A Cold War hero who kept our democracy safe from communists’ said an emotional David Cameron as he awaited the exchange. [read...]
Local beauty contestant winner and international waif model Gretchen Von Rumeschtide has ‘really let herself go’ and exploded to a mind-bending 119lbs according to the greasy Australian tabloid news network Daily Wombat. The Wombat reports that not one of her ribs was visible in the most recent photo shoot taken at a remote location in… [read...]
Money Saving Expert consumer blogger Tim Peake saved a whopping £8.00 on his journey from his home in Chelmsford to work in Sheffield by going via the International Space Station instead of going by rail. [read...]
The squalid conditions of the Calais migrant camp make it the ideal venue for another Glastonbury-style festival, according to experts. Surveyors of the site see similarities between the misery and degradation encountered at British music festivals and have concluded that all the area is missing is a few low-rent indie bands. [read...]
A new directive comes in to force across the EU from the 1st of February which aims to bring an end to the misery of ignored elephants. The new Directive makes it illegal to keep a pachyderm in a domestic environment without making adequate provision for keeping it entertained. [read...]
